


What's Done In The Dark Will Be Brought To The Light

by audbooh



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Exile, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Fugitives, Hurt/Comfort, Intrigue, Mystery, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Smut, Suspense, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2020-08-09 21:50:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20124406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audbooh/pseuds/audbooh
Summary: The war was over. Palpatine had been struck down, and the First Order disintegrated. Of course, there were still splinter cells that had to be dealt with, but the majority of the First Order was gone.After the war ends, Rey must find her place in the galaxy. Ben, now redeemed, must try to live a life on the run, hunted by those who despise the First Order. Unbeknownst to either of them, an evil presence lurks. Will the peace stand strong, or will the galaxy fall into chaos once again?





	1. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey discovers a new home after the war, and finds a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from Johnny Cash's "God's Gonna Cut You Down"

The war was over. Palpatine had been struck down, and the First Order disintegrated. Of course, there were still splinter cells that had to be dealt with, but the majority of the First Order was gone.

Rey leaned against a column, arms crossed. The sheer amount of people in the ballroom made her wary. After a year of war, it was hard for her to transition back into normal life.

Though her life before the Resistance wasn't exactly easy either.

Rey walked to the edge of the balcony, watching the tiny figures shout and chant and wave their signs. She knew what they were protesting; many of the galaxy’s residents abhorred the thought of another Republic. She couldn’t quite disagree, she thought as she turned back towards the politicians laughing in the ballroom.

Finn appeared at the edge of the crowd, his familiar face filling Rey with warmth. He looked at the crowd, searching for something. He then turned to face her, and walked over, eyes warm.

"Enjoying the festivities?" he asked, a small smile on his face. Rey turned to her friend, and his smile faded.

"Rey? What is it?" The edges of her vision started to blur. She buried her face in his shoulders and closed her eyes, letting his arms envelop her.

Finn held her gently as she silently cried, rocking her and rubbing his hands on her back. Rey felt a flush of embarrassment, crying during a time of happiness. But she couldn't get a certain dark-haired man out of her mind.

"Shh," Finn whispered, "It's okay." Rey pulled away from him, her eyes filled with tears. Finn seemed to know exactly what was going through her head.

"It'll be alright."

* * *

Rey breathed heavily, watching as the last of the First Order splinter cell rush into their ship. She took a deep breath before starting to run after them, using the Force to lengthen her strides. The engines of the shuttle sputtered, then fire burst out of them. Rey reached the shuttle just as it took off, leaving the arid planet in the dust.

Rey stopped, catching her breath, before turning off her lightsaber and clipping it to her belt. She pulled out a comm and pressed a few buttons.

"Hey Rey," Rose's voice came out of the comm, and Rey smiled despite the growing heat.

"Hi, Rose. They got away. Awaiting pickup." 

"Be there in five. Sit tight." The comm beeped, shutting off. Rey placed it back in her pack. She scanned the land around her, then looked to the green-tinted sky. Rey glanced around the plains, searching the distant mountains.

It had been a month since the celebration. Rey had thrown herself into finishing off the meagre remains of the First Order as the rest of the Resistance concentrated on rebuilding the Republic, making sure not to repeat the mistakes of the past. Leia was overseeing the diplomatic side of things, stating that she didn't want to see another Republic fall.

Finn had told her, a few weeks back, that he had intended to find a home with Rose, and figure out what life was about. Rey told him he deserved it.

She wasn't sure what she was going to do after the splinter cells were gone. Explore the galaxy, maybe? It didn't quite feel right, continuing to live after he had gone. She had to live with living.

Rey smiled as she spotted a small shuttle in the distance. She would take a quick break, then it was off to hunt down another splinter cell.

* * *

She fiddled with the lightsaber, using only the natural light of the moon to see. Her room was enveloped in a cool blue, reaching to all corners. 

When Leia had suggested staying at Naboo, Rey had been surprised. The lush planet was so much different from Jakku, filled with life in every corner. And Rey felt like she was intruding. 

Leia had waved her concerns away.

"Rey," she had said, "the Amidala home is as much yours as mine."

So here Rey was, sleeping in beds that were too soft, eating food that was too rich, and taking advantage of the amenities of the Amidala house. She spent her free days exploring the vast house, taking strolls around the property, shaded in arching trees, and learning to swim. She could tread water now, and no longer feared the somewhat deeper parts of the lake. 

It was peaceful, in a way that Rey could've never dreamed of. She didn't have to hunt for her food, didn't spend each day surviving off of scraps. She could eat as much as she wanted without any consequences. With some exercise, Rey had grown to a healthy weight, with strong but lean muscles. She was so used to surviving, so used to fighting, that it was hard to relax.

Rey remembered when she first went into the small town close to the house. She had brought her staff with her, keeping it close by as her boots trudged down the even path. A stranger had been walking on the other side of the path, and she had gripped her staff, ready to fight. But he had simply waved, greeting her, then walked by.

After that, she didn't bring her staff to the town. She brought a shy smile, she brought some of the fruit that hung low in a tree next to the house, she brought stories of Leia and Finn and Rose and Poe and Jakku and…

Rey brought herself out of her memories, instead focussing on the lightsaber. She pressed the cool metal to her chest, closing her eyes. The kyber crystal almost hummed within its casing. Rey stayed silent, letting the Force wash over her. The world grew quiet, and she could soon only hear the sound of her breathing.

_ "Rey..." _

She snapped her eyes open, her heart speeding up. Amber eyes stared into hers, and dark hair whipped in an invisible wind.

Ben smiled, his face showing the shadow of a beard. He looked tired, worn, but still, he smiled.

Rey dropped the lightsaber, rushing towards him. He opened his arms, and she fell into his embrace. The light of the moon shone on his scar, and when she pulled away slightly, her eyes traced the scar, down to his lips.

Rey pressed her lips to Ben's, revelling in the feeling of his solid body against hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go again! thank you to the amazing Tehanu for beta-ing this fic. Without her, I don't know what I'd do. thank you for reading this! let's take this unknown journey together! comment/kudos if you want! I'm always excited to see them!
> 
> [my tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/auds-writing)


	2. Coruscant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see what Ben has been up to since the end of the war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter is a bit short.

The war was over. 

Ben pulled his hood over his face, trying to seem smaller than he was. The busy streets of Coruscant shuffled around him. He glanced upwards to see speeders rushing above him. 

The war had ended, and with it, the First Order. Ben had turned to the light, and with Rey, defeated Palpatine.

Unfortunately, in the eyes of the galaxy, he was still the Jedi Killer, the warrior of the First Order. So after they had won, he had disappeared, crawling away to lick his wounds.

He hadn't had time to tell Rey. It was the one thing he regretted. After all that they had been through, he had disappeared, never to be seen by her again.

He had to go. It was the one thing he knew for certain. Kylo Ren had to die.

A light drizzle started to fall on the streets. Ben pulled his cloak tighter to him, pushing through the crowd. People around him protested as he made his way through the streets. His eyes zeroed in on a poster, waving in the wind. It had the Republic’s symbol, with an ominous figure lurking behind it, red lightsaber ablaze. 

_Are we really safer? Protest the Republic, _the text read. Ben felt a hammering in his chest at the sight of his old helmet but shook it off. Ben dipped into the Force, sensing the moods of the people around him.

There it was. Something he had been subconsciously sensing for a while. A dark presence in the Force, spitting malice and intent. It was only a few feet from him. He had to move, had to lose the tail.

Ben spotted a small club, the entrance almost packed. He slipped between the crowds and entered the club.

The sound was almost pulsing, a deep electronic beat resonating in his soul. It overwhelmed the club, making it impossible to hear anything below a shout. People of all forms were dancing and drinking. Ben made his way towards the back of the club, where the stench of the bathrooms permeated. A woman stared at him, the pink smoke from her cigarette making her black eyes glow. Ben reached up towards his face, touching the growing beard. He had hoped to disguise himself, making it difficult for enemies to recognise him. 

Ben pushed into the men's bathroom, locking himself in a stall. The music was muted here, but it still seemed to vibrate the small room. He sat down on the toilet, trying to centre himself in the Force. Who was chasing him? He had gone to great lengths to hide, in the Force and in the galaxy. Kriff, he even stayed here, in the underbelly of Coruscant. He stayed in this dirty, disgusting place, to hide. 

All he wanted was to go to  _ her _ , to see her face again.

He waited for a few more minutes, hearing nothing out of the ordinary, then hopped off the stall. The door creaked as it opened, and Ben froze like a deer in headlights. But nobody came to cart him away, nobody came to shoot a blaster bolt in his chest. He opened the door to the club and used the twisting bodies of the dancers to hide his escape.

Ben made his way back to his small apartment. The door opened when he came close, scanning his biometric data before letting him in. Ben pushed down his hood as he collapsed onto his small couch, scratching his growing beard. The door slid shut, echoing in his mind.

Ben pulled out his lightsaber, inspecting the cool weapon. He hadn't turned it on since Palpatine. Since he had seen the light. He knew why, but he didn't want to say it, even to himself. He put the lightsaber away, and went outside, watching the speeders zip by.

The world went silent around him. Ben's heart started to thump, and he turned towards the strongest point in the Force. There she was, sitting, fiddling with something in her lap. Her hair was down, similar to how he saw her in the elevator on the Supremacy.

At first, all he could do was stare. He was frozen in place, watching her tinker with what he now knew was her lightsaber. His hands started to shake, and he finally choked out a word.

"Rey..." She opened her beautiful eyes, and her mouth dropped in shock. Ben was unable to stop smiling. How strange it must be to her, to see him after all this time. How strange it must be to see him alive.

Rey's lightsaber clattered to the floor, and with the speed of a fathier, she rushed towards him. He opened his arms, letting them wrap around her warm body. He couldn't breathe, couldn't do anything but revel in her embrace. She bent her head back, her eyes tracing the lines of his face. Ben's eyes focussed on the golden specks in her eyes, on the pink of her nose, on her sculpted lips. She grasped his head, pulling him down to her level, and kissed him.

He closed his eyes, letting her kiss wash over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gave him a beard. How dare I. 
> 
> On a more serious note, thank you to the amazing Tehanu for beta-ing this! Her comments and suggestions have been extremely helpful. 
> 
> My sister was distraught that I didn't mention her in the endnotes. Hello, sister!
> 
> Thank you to all who read, comment, and give kudos! You encourage me to continue writing, and I hope that you enjoyed this chapter and the chapters to come
> 
> [my tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/auds-writing)


	3. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben have a much-needed discussion. Rey makes a decision.

Rey pulled away from Ben, her hands still wrapped around him. She stared into his eyes, trying to memorise every detail of his face. Her left hand reached up towards him, caressing his scar.

"How...?" she started, but her voice seemed to fade. Ben's expression hardened.

"How did I survive?" he repeated her unspoken question. Rey watched as he disentangled himself from her, sitting on a chair or a bench. His gaze fell to the floor, his shoulders hunching. He looked like the brooding man she saw in that hut, unsure but putting on a brave face.

"After Palpatine, I escaped to a small moon. I recovered from the damage Palpatine had done by myself. I knew that the galaxy would still see Kylo Ren when they looked at me, not Ben Solo. So I went into hiding.” He hesitated, his eyes meeting hers then falling. Rey could sense his uncertainty.

“It’s okay,” she said, “I won’t tell.” He met her eyes again, then nodded.

“I’m in Coruscant.” Rey walked up to him, and he tilted his head to look at her. Her hand tangled itself in his hair, and he relaxed at her touch.

"Why didn't you come to me? To Leia? She misses you terribly. We would make sure that you would be safe." He smiled at that, leaning into her touch.

"I terrorised the galaxy for years, Rey. People trembled when they heard my name. You’ve seen the propaganda. They’re all afraid of another First Order. Are you certain that they wouldn't shoot me on sight once they realised who I was?" 

Rey knew that Ben was right, but she didn't want to say it. She needed him near her, needed to feel him against her. 

"What are you going to do?" Silence permeated the air. Ben's watering eyes met hers. Rey got to her knees, placing her hands on his knees. He glanced down at her, breathing calmly.

"I... I don't know."

* * *

Rey held a basket of fruits as she walked down the path. The trees arched around her, shading the path from the sun. After last night, Rey wasn't sure what she was going to do. She thought Ben was dead. She thought she was alone. But he was alive, and with it, her hopes were revived. There had to be some way to bring him back from his self-imposed exile.

She made it to the village, the small town square buzzing with activity. Rey smiled at the few who waved at her, feeling shy. They all knew who she was, all knew what she had done. She had heard their whispers when she first arrived.  _ "It's the Last Jedi, the Sith Killer, destroyer of the Emperor." _

She walked up to a stall, murmuring a polite greeting as she dumped her fruit on the table. The shopkeeper pulled the fruit into a basket, then placed a Holocron on the table. Rey thanked him, walking away from the stall. The small object in her hand had a few of the lessons from the Jedi Temples. Now that the war was over, Rey was trying to learn the more peaceful teachings of the Jedi of old.

She stopped in her tracks, a scrolling article from the Holonet projector catching her eye.  _ "General Hux and Kylo Ren dead; First Order falling apart. Is this the end of tyranny?" _ It wasn't news to her, but her eyes focused on two words.

_ Kylo Ren.  _

What was she going to do now? Her true purpose in the war was to defeat the First Order. Now, she didn't even have any splinter cells to focus on. She only knew that Ben was far away, spending every waking moment worrying about his life. Where did he say he was? Coruscant? Maybe Rey would go there, find out what she could do.

A beeping on her comm interrupted her thoughts. She pulled the device out and pressed the button.

"Rey here," she answered, leaning against the building next to her. The only reply was hushed breathing, raspy and crackling. Rey's heart started to beat faster, reminded of yellow eyes and a cackling laugh.

The comm beeped, letting Rey know that the call ended. She stared at it quizzically, then put it away and started her trek home.

* * *

_ In. Out. Breathe. Feel it around you. In. Out. Breathe. Concentrate. _

Rey inhaled the fresh air, her eyes closed as she sensed the world around her. The ground rocked underneath her, and she had to pause to regain her balance. 

A wispy wind breezed past her, bringing cold air and the smells of the lake. It waved past her skin, making the hairs stand up. She held the cool metal in her hand, and a low hum emitted from the metal. She swung the lightsaber once, twice, three times. The ground rocked under her again, and she focussed on steadying. She swung again, and the ground skeeted away, making her fall into cool freshwater.

Rey swam to the surface, turning off the lightsaber and gasping for air. She trod water, watching the canoe she had been standing on float upside down.

She swam back to the beach, stopping for a moment to catch her breath. Rey remembered when she had flipped over Ben's Silencer, an epic partnership between herself and the Force.

The Force wasn't quite cooperating with her now. It was almost... hesitant. Unsure. She tried to coax it out of its shell, whisper to it that it was all okay, but it was a scared child, refusing to listen. 

Rey clipped the lightsaber to her belt, looking back to the house. She couldn't stay here any longer. She had to find Ben.

* * *

Coruscant was once the head of the Republic. The Core planet housed many people, of many different types. Every inch of land supporting durasteel walls and twinkling lights. It was the home of the Senate, a sanctuary for some, and a place to hide for others.

Coruscant was a dirty, rotten, bustling, glimmering planet. As Rey flew the Falcon around the upper reaches of the atmosphere, she admired the city below. She had never seen so many people in one place. It was beautiful.

Leia had given her a Senator's quarters when Rey had commed her. She had a knowing tone to her voice, and not for the first time, Rey wondered if Leia knew her son was alive. If she did, she never said anything.

Rey was officially here as a "diplomat", here to speak to the Senate about reviving the Jedi Order. It would no longer be a part of the Republic, but more like a neutral Order. No longer would the Jedi Order be manipulated by either the Senate or any who oppose the Senate. 

Rey landed the Falcon, grabbing her lightsaber and staff before walking down the ramp. The darkness of the night was cast out by the lights. It could almost be mistaken for daytime. Rey spun around slowly, observing the buildings around her.

The Senator Quarters were sparsely decorated, with red furniture and white end tables. It had the bare necessities, but nothing that signified a home. Rey leaned her staff against the wall and clipped her lightsaber to her belt. Her meeting with the Senate was in two days, then she was being dragged around the Inner Rim under the guise of a "peace tour". What it was, Rose had told her, was smiles and photo ops and speeches. It wasn't real.

Rey closed her eyes, trying to find Ben's Force signature in the crowds. But as soon as she opened her mind, she was bombarded. Rey grabbed the sides of her head, trying to block out the noise. A sliver of light reached out to her, and she took it. The world went quiet. 

Ben appeared before her, eyes warm and comforting. He looked out of breath, but safe. His beard was starting to grow out, covering the lower half of his face. Rey ran into his arms, burying her face in his chest.

He wrapped his arms around her, resting his head against her. His cape hid them from view as they slid to the floor. Rey cupped Ben's face, his growing whiskers tickling her.

"Rey," he breathed out, his voice hesitant. Rey kissed him, shutting him up quite effectively. Three words flashed in her mind as she deepened their kiss. His hands gripped her hips, and she growled, her hands roaming down from his face towards his chest.

Ben suddenly pushed her away, eyes filled with concern. It was only then that Rey realised she was crying.

"What is it?" he asked, entwining his hands with hers. Rey had to stop and think, her breath uneven.

"I — I..." she started, but she faltered. She stared into Ben's amber eyes. He leaned his forehead against hers.

"I have them too." He read her mind so easily. Not through the Force, but their unbreakable connection. "The nightmares."

The nightmares. Sharp visions of Snoke, of Ben's eyes splintering into yellow as he raised his lightsaber. Nightmares of her parents leaving her stranded, of Finn and Rose and Poe leaving her, of Ben leaving her. Those haunted her dreams. Made her wake up in a sweat. But the nightmares had changed. They were a soft mist, enveloping her in suffocating fear.

The tears stopped falling from her lashes. Rey sunk herself further into the embrace, trying to memorise every inch of Ben's face.

"I hate the beard," she murmured, and Ben chuckled. Soon, the two of them were smiling and laughing, trying to avoid the fact that this was only through the Force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you to the amazing Tehanu for beta-ing. Thank you to my sister, for being there. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who reads, comments, or kudos. You all inspire me to keep writing!
> 
> [my tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/auds-writing)


	4. Kylo Ren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben faces an ugly truth.

They had agreed not to meet at his apartment. Ben told her of the malevolent spirit in the Force. So here he was, in the dark, crowded bar. He kept scanning the room, trying to sense either Rey or another strong presence in the Force. So far, there was neither.

"Credit for your thoughts?" Ben looked up to see a man with a crooked smile, leaning against the wall that the booth was placed against.

"No thanks," Ben replied gruffly, trying to disguise his voice. The man slid into the seat opposite of him, still with that disarming smile.

"Are you sure, Kylo Ren?" The sound of a blaster charging was almost deafening to Ben's ears. _ Kriff. _ How did they find him? He had been too careless.

"What do you want?" He dropped the voice, trying to search the man's aura. The smile dropped, and the man pushed the blaster into Ben's knee.

"You killed my family. Do you remember Teliv? And Eternis? I lived there, with my children. You murdered them all. The entire village. For a kriffing map." 

Ben's heart was racing as the man told his story. It was one he had heard several times, one that was common. But now, he didn't ignore that twisting feeling in his gut. It was his fault. His fault this man lost his family. His fault that he was suffering.

"I'm sorry," Ben whispered, his voice shaking. The man paused, stuttering in disbelief.

"Sorry won't bring them back." A tear slid down the man's face, then he pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. The man looked down to see the blaster bolt frozen in midair.

Ben knocked the blaster out of the man's hand, then ducked. The man grunted in shock, eyes wide as the blaster bolt shot through where Ben’s head was two seconds ago. The entire bar erupted into chaos, with people screaming and crying as they rushed out the doors. Ben pulled the hood over his head, blending in with the crowd as he escaped.

_ Blast. _ He wasn’t supposed to be found. He had been so careful. As the rain poured down on the frenzied crowd, Ben ducked into an alleyway. He reached up and pushed the hood back, staring into the hazy dark sky. Rain splattered on his face, and he combed his wet hair away from his face. His hands were shaking.

A tear slipped out of his eyes. He blinked, raindrops threatening to slip through his lashes. The lights of the city shone through the fog, but couldn’t quite reach him. His stomach coiled within him, and he stared back at the bar, his breath uneven. He cursed under his breath. A coiled snake dug through his chest, slithering up his oesophagus and towards his neck. He knew what it’s real name was. _ Hatred_. It brought fury with it, spreading heat. Ben turned to the dumpster next to him. He curled his fingers into a fist, then punched the dumpster. Pain bloomed from his knuckles, spreading down his arms. He stared at his knuckles for a second, then punched the dumpster again. Again and again and again and again, until he couldn’t remember a time where his hands weren’t bleeding and the pain became a friend. The snake hissed within him, encouraging him to let the pain in.

A hand on his shoulder stopped his focus. He whirled around, eyes narrowed, out of breath. But it was Rey. Her eyes moved towards his knuckles, then the dumpster, then back to him.

“Ben,” she said, and he broke.

She embraced him, tracing his scar with her thumb, He wrapped his arms around her, finding comfort in her warmth. It’s like she could read his mind, like he was a book and she was turning the pages, finding what was wrong and plucking it out.

“What happened?” Rey asked, her voice even. He breathed in, then out, trying to quiet the coiled snake in his stomach.

“I was at the bar. Someone found me, knew who I _was._ Tried to get revenge. For his family. Rey, _ how could I have been so blind? _ ” His voice cracked on the last sentence. _ Yes, _ he thought, _ how could I have been blind to what Snoke wanted from me? From what Palpatine wanted? _ Deep inside, he knew why. He was broken, and shattered, and scared. He was a little kid, listening to the voices in his head. It had taken years to realise that he wasn’t the person they wanted. He wasn’t the person that his parents had wanted him to be. His father’s face shimmered in his mind. He could feel the warmth of the comforting hand, touching his face softly before it slipped away. 

“I need to leave,” Ben stated, and Rey nodded. She caressed his hand, bringing it to her soft lips. He leaned into her touch, so glad to _finally_ feel her in the flesh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh. My. God. That trailer, though! I'm so excited!! Can it be December yet??
> 
> Thank you to Tehanu for the beta, as always. And thank you to my sister for talking Star Wars with me.
> 
> [my tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/auds-writing)


	5. Escape From Coruscant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben make their desperate escape from Coruscant.

Rey watched as Ben packed up all of his limited belongings. Clothes were strewn around, old plates haphazardly placed on the counters. It seemed that Ben hadn’t planned to be here long, but he had settled in. 

Her plan for getting him out was a simple one. She had to stay here for the Senate meetings, then she was to go on her tour. Ben was to leave on the  _ Falcon _ , go to an Outer Rim planet where he wouldn’t be as easily recognised. Rey would finish her tour as fast as she could, then rush to the planet. They had both settled on the planet Wrea, a cold planet with islands scattered around vast oceans. It reminded Rey of Ahch-To in that way.

Rey was brought out of her thoughts by Ben, who looked like he had finished packing. All of his belongings could fit in a single backpack. Rey raised her eyebrows at the pack, and Ben shrugged.

“I had to be ready to leave at a moment’s notice. Better to have limited stuff.” Rey nodded, knowing the feeling well. She could only carry parts and a small pack on Jakku, at least until she set up base at the AT-AT. 

“You ready?” Rey asked. Ben glanced around the room, and Rey knew he was saying goodbye to his temporary home.

“Let’s go.”

* * *

Rain pounded against them as they pushed through the crowds. Rey had rented a small two-person speeder to get them from his apartment to the  _ Falcon _ . Ben’s hand was wrapped around hers, helping them stick together while navigating the streets of Coruscant.  _ Whoever had designed the lower levels _ , Rey thought,  _ was a horrible person _ . The way that Coruscant was built obviously favoured the upper class. And yet, people from around the galaxy flocked here, for protection or security, no matter their wealth. 

Ben used his large stature to make a path for the two of them. His lightsaber bounced against his hip; the shiny dark metal was obscured by his cloak, but Rey could catch a glimpse if she was looking for it.

Her white clothing stood out against the darker tones of the Coruscant lowlife. She felt awkward, illuminated. As they passed, some gawked at her. She wanted to melt away, but she had to focus.

The speeder sat quietly, hovering a few inches above the ground. Ben let go of her hand, jumping into the pilot’s seat. Rey didn’t argue, didn’t have time to argue. She handed him the keys and jumped into the passenger seat.

“Where’s the  _ Falcon? _ ” Ben shoved the keys into the ignition, and the speeder started to hum with power. Rey typed the location into the speeder’s navigation, and Ben glanced at it, then guided the speeder into the air.

Rey closed her eyes, opening herself to the Force around her. Like before, the amount of  _ noise _ in the Force blinded her, but soon she blocked it out. As Ben drove the speeder, she concentrated on the people around her. She had to make sure nobody was following them or was planning to crash the speeder in some way. The Force wavered, rippling, until finally steadying. Rey couldn’t sense anything out of the ordinary. She opened her eyes, turning towards Ben.

“We’re good,” she said, and he grunted a reply. Despite the intensity of their escape, Rey couldn’t help but stare at him. At his hair, whirling in the wind. At his eyes, staring ahead. At his scar, cutting through his face. She couldn’t help but admire his features, couldn’t help but wish they were safer, so she could run her hands through that hair and trace that scar and touch that face. She had thought him dead, and now, when they could finally feel each other in the flesh, they were caught in danger. She wished they were lounging at the Amidala house in Naboo, wished they were laughing as they ate the fruit, and smiling as they kissed. That had to wait. She had to make sure that Ben got out of danger.

The  _ Falcon _ slowly came into view. Rey had to stop herself from laughing out of relief. Ben gently guided the speeder to the docking port, then turned off the speeder and jumped out, grabbing his pack. She got out after him, scanning the docking port before rushing after Ben. Her feet hit the durasteel of the  _ Falcon’s  _ ramp, and she hit the button to raise it. Ben’s pack slid off of his shoulder, and he collapsed against the wall. Rey leaned next to him, catching her breath. Ben’s eyes met hers, then they both erupted into laughter. Rey leaned over and kissed Ben, her adrenaline running high. He deepened the kiss, and soon she straddled him, cupping his face in her hands as she kissed him. He murmured into her mouth, his hands resting against her sides. Rey’s stomach flipped, and a deep warmth flooded her body. They both pulled away, gasping for breath.  _ He’s so beautiful,  _ Rey thought.

“You’re so beautiful,” Ben whispered, and Rey smiled. “Let’s leave this planet.”

* * *

Rey rested her head against Ben’s chest, listening to his steady heart. She stared at the stars outside, watching them twinkle and sparkle. Ben’s arm was tucked underneath her, and his chin touched her head.

“What are we going to do?” Ben asked. Rey pushed herself up so she could see Ben’s face. He looked worried, his eyebrows furrowed. “After your tour. We can’t stay on Wren forever. We have to face them someday.” Ben moved his arm so his hand rested on Rey’s back. She brushed a stray hair out of Ben’s eyes.

“I… don’t know. Why can’t we stay on Wrea? Why can’t we just… leave? Leave them all behind. What good has the Republic, or the First Order, or any of them done for us?” Rey huffed out the words, forming her hands into fists. Ben narrowed his eyes. She knew that look.

“Rey,” he started, his voice taking on that condescending tone. Rey put her hand on his chest, anger flaring up.

“No, Ben, listen. All I’ve seen is hate. Everywhere. They hate Kylo Ren, they hate the First Order, they hate anyone who is against them. What if we escaped? Lived out our lives without any of the prejudices against us?” Ben dropped the look from his face, and just stared into her eyes. Rey felt her anger melting away.

“What about your friends? Or… my mother? Or anyone else you care about? We’re just going to forget them? Leave them behind?” Rey opened her mouth to retort, but nothing came out. He was right. Even when she was blinded by her own anger, he helped her realise the truth.

“No. I’m just tired of it all. I wish we could just live in peace…” Rey laid back down, starting to close her eyes. “I’m not thrilled about the tour. I’m no good at politics.” Ben’s chest rumbled with soft laughter, and Rey smiled. She tried to commit this moment to her memory. The stars twirling around them, and Ben’s arms wrapped around her. She didn’t know what she was going to do when she had to leave tomorrow.

Rey buried her thoughts as she concentrated on Ben’s even breathing. She would deal with that later. For now, she just listened to Ben, listened to his soft voice as he hummed a tune.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Labor Day to those in the United States, and happy Monday to everyone else!!
> 
> Thank you to Tehanu for beta-ing, as always. And thank you to my sister.
> 
> [my tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/auds-writing)


	6. Wrea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben makes his way to the planet Wrea.

When Ben woke up in the morning, Rey was gone. She had left a note in the _ Falcon’s _ interface, saying that she had to go to the Senate and that she’d see him soon. The familiarity of the Falcon felt cold now that she was gone. It was just him and the _ Falcon _. 

Every step that he took on this ship felt haunted. He was a ghost, wandering its halls, searching for something that didn’t exist anymore. The _ Falcon _ had never truly felt like home, no matter how much his father wanted it to. Now, he wasn’t sure if it ever could.

Ben sat in the pilot’s seat, plugging in the coordinates for Wrea. It was in the Outer Rim, so it would take a few days to get there. He had time to kill. Which was always a problem. Even while in Luke’s Jedi Academy, he always had trouble with being alone with his thoughts. Oftentimes, Snoke would whisper in his head, filling it with his venom.

Now, his head was empty. And he had no idea what to do. Ben leaned back in his seat, watching as the stars turned to streaks of light around him. He breathed in deeply, then let it all out. 

Ben got up from his seat, making his way towards the common room. He sat down on the floor, crossing his legs and closing his eyes. Meditation had always been difficult, even in Luke’s Academy. But Rey had encouraged him to continue trying, even when it was hard.

He dipped into the Force. In space, he could feel the tendrils of the stars, feel the pulsing light of gravity flowing around the ship. He could feel the heat of the engines, blasting out energy as it propelled them through the emptiness. Ben let his mind wander, let the Force gently wrap itself around him. 

Then he felt it. That dark pulse, racing like a heartbeat. That overwhelming feeling of hatred. It reached out towards him. He tried to push it away, but the pulse resisted him, clawing at him. 

_You,_ it whispered. _ Kylo Ren. _Ben shook his head at the name, fighting against the sick feeling in his stomach. The desire to hurt expanded from the pulse, sinking into his skin like venom. He needed to get away, he needed to stop, he needed—

Ben opened his eyes to see various objects floating around him, as if he had turned off the gravity module. In the exact time it took for him to notice, it stopped, the objects clattering to the floor. Ben pulled his knees to his chest. He could almost feel the stares of the students of the Academy, hearts racing as they watched the feat. He could feel Luke’s astonishment, his fear. 

This is why he hated meditation. Ben rubbed his eyes, getting back to his feet. That dark pulse lurked in the back of his mind, painstakingly familiar, yet unrecognisable. _ What was it? _

* * *

Wrea was exactly as Rey had described. Islands scattered the oceans, dots of green in the endless blue. Ben felt a pang of familiarity, though the feeling was not his own. Had Rey been here before? He doubted it; after all, she had been stranded on Jakku for the better part of her life. This planet was the opposite of Jakku. He still remembered the dusty, expansive sands, the way it seemed quiet, even when the village was burning behind him. Compared to the chaos of his childhood, he had longed for a peaceful life on a planet like Jakku. Until Rey had told him about how she had struggled to survive each day

He landed the _ Falcon _ on one of the larger islands, being careful as to not damage any of the wildlife. _ All living things are connected to the Force, _ Luke once told him, _ even those who do not feel as we do. _He had barely paid attention to that lesson, instead watching the other students spar with sticks. He was always taking extra lessons with Luke, to hone his Force-sensitivity. He knew it was to keep an eye on him. Make sure he didn’t snap.

Ben checked the nav computer, reading all of the facts about Wrea. It had a breathable atmosphere, and the average temperatures were colder than what he was used to. The local species made their home underwater, in the depths of the oceans. They probably wouldn’t bother him above water.

The _ Falcon _hissed as the ramp was lowered, and Ben clutched at his backpack as he stepped onto the island. The wind rushed through the air, blowing his hair into his face. He brushed his hair away, searching his surroundings. He had landed quite far from the beaches, though he could still see them. Ahead of him was a forest, towering trees that hid the horizon. Ben’s hand went to the lightsaber clipped at his side. He was certainly ready for any dangers in the forest.

His hands brushed the wood as he weaved through the trunks. The wind had all but stopped, leaving a silence in the air. The wood felt soft on his fingertips, but when he rubbed them in the opposite direction it stung like thorns. Ben felt a tickling on his neck, and he slapped the spot, but there was nothing there. That feeling, that dark pulse, haunted him. Ben spun around, pulling his lightsaber to his hand with the Force and igniting it. Red light emanated from the sabre, splashing the colour of blood onto the trees. Ben was filled with the need to _escape. _To run away, far far away, until the dark mask of Kylo Ren left his mind and the chilling laugh of Palpatine faded away. 

A sharp pain shot through his back, and Ben realised he had backed into a tree. He pushed off of it and ran back to the _ Falcon. _

* * *

“It was the meditation,” Ben whispered, staring at the outside through the window of the cockpit. The feeling of his lightsaber at his side did little to soothe his anxiety. “Kriffing meditation.” His mother would scold him for such language. But she wasn’t here. Rey wasn’t here. Nobody was here. It was just him.

_ Just you, Kylo Ren. It’s just you. _ He gripped at his hair, sinking further into his seat. The sentence repeated in his head, an anthem to match his heartbeat. _ Just you just you just you. _

“Stop!” Ben snapped his eyes open, curling his hands into fists. He wouldn’t let this happen. He wouldn’t be passive in his head, letting whoever was in front of him weave his thoughts to match their agenda. He was free now, free to choose his way. He knew this. 

_ Then why was it so hard to let go? _

His mind quieted, and Ben let himself go limp. He simply stared at various objects in the cockpit, not particularly focussing on anything. He wanted his mother. He was a little boy again, waking up in a sweat from nightmares. He was a little boy, tears falling down his cheeks as his mother rocked him. He was a little boy again, heart beating wildly as he heard his mother and father debate on whether he was dangerous. He wanted her to rock him again, to tell him that _ it’s okay, Ben. Just breathe. _

* * *

It was in the middle of the night when the Force connected Ben to Rey. She appeared before him, clothed in her usual undershirt and pants. Her loose hair fell in waves, and her eyes lit up when she saw him. She was the most beautiful thing he had seen that day. The most beautiful thing he had _ ever _seen.

She wrapped him in a hug, and the warm feeling of her body against his made his worries melt away. _ Almost _. He could still feel the pulse, echoing through the Force. But being next to Rey helped him forget it.

Why did it affect him so intensely? Why was it so familiar, why did it remind him of white helmets in a crowd? It brought up memories of his time in the First Order, of when he pushed his emotions down when he was a puppet of Snoke. 

“You okay?” Rey asked, and the question was so simple, so sincere, that he felt that knot in his stomach start to rise again. He swallowed, pushing it down, and pulling away to look into Rey’s hazel eyes.

“Yeah. Bad dreams,” he answered. He knew he was lying, but he couldn’t tell her what was wrong. Not when he didn’t even know what it was himself. “Just kiss me, please.”

And she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late chapter, I was on vacation and only got home today. Also, from now on, the chapters will be getting longer. I had to find my footing with this story, and now I think I'm ready to jump!
> 
> Thank you to Tehanu for beta-ing! I seriously don't know what I'd do without you. And thank you to my sister, who always reminds me to put her in the end notes. 
> 
> Thank you to my readers!! I'm writing this story for myself, but also for you guys! Please don't hesitate to comment, I love hearing from you!
> 
> [my tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/auds-writing)


	7. The Senate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey meets with the Senate to discuss the idea of a new Jedi Order.

Rey felt her stomach seize up at the sight of the large chamber. The Senate was unlike anything she had ever seen. Living on Jakku didn’t give much opportunity for politics. But here she was, standing on a floating platform, feeling stripped of all her defences. Leia stood beside her, face stoic. But she reached for Rey’s hand, and the younger woman took it, glad for the comfort.

Doubt crept into her mind as the platform floated up to the middle. Creatures of all sizes murmured around her, watching as the platform stopped.

“People of the Republic,” Leia began, her voice strong and steady, “we’ve gathered here today to discuss the fate of the Jedi Order. As one of the last Jedi, Rey knows what’s good for the Jedi.” Leia gestured to the mic, and Rey gulped before approaching the front of the platform. A droid whizzed around her, its camera focussed on her. She took a deep breath, remembering her training, remembering what Leia had taught her.

“Long ago, the Jedi were a peaceful organisation, dedicated to training Force-sensitives the Jedi way. Thanks to Darth Sidious and the Sith, the Jedi were destroyed, taken apart by the ignorances of the Senate.” There was a gasp around the chamber, and for a second Rey thought she said the wrong thing. But she had to continue. “Now that the Jedi are all but eliminated, I would like to propose that I start a new Jedi Order, no longer controlled by the Senate, or any governing power. Let the Jedi Order flourish, and return to our roots.” Senators started to chat wildly, cries of outrage echoing the chamber. _ Blast. _ Rey looked to Leia, who gave her a comforting smile. _ Don’t worry, _ that smile said. 

“But who will be responsible for the Jedi? Who will keep them in line?” a voice cried out. Rey felt anger bubble in her stomach. Is this what politics were? Good ideas shot down by fear? 

“The Jedi will be responsible for themselves!” She took a deep breath, collecting her thoughts. “Our goal is to remain peaceful, to _ guide _others in the way of the Force.” Rey’s entire body tensed, already tired of the Senate. All she wanted to do was help Force-sensitives like herself. But the wheel of democracy turned slowly.

Leia stepped up to the podium, and Rey sat down, tuning out the rest of the meeting. She said what she needed to say. It was up to them if they listened. _ Maybe the Senate wasn’t the right way to go _.

An image popped into her head. Ben, bloodied and bruised, chains around his wrists, in front of the Senate. _ GUILTY _, flashing above him as senators stood by, faceless. 

She didn’t doubt that they would execute him in a heartbeat. Rey looked at the chamber with hooded eyes, _ GUILTY _ flashing in her mind.

* * *

Rey shifted from foot to foot, watching as the terminal bustled with energy. She felt like a character in one of the Holo-Net dramas, running away from her responsibilities. But she was not those foolish characters, running for foolish reasons.

Rey saw a nondescript shuttle, shades of grey paint dulling the durasteel. A red Resistance symbol was painted on the side. She walked up to the ramp, where a tall man in a pilot's gear was tinkering with some controls. He dropped his task when he saw Rey, smiling with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Hello!” he said, his voice as dull as his ship, slightly high-pitched. The man brushed blond hair out of his eyes, staining his forehead with grease. “You must be my passenger. I’m Thoreau. Nice to meet you.” He held his hand out for a shake, then pulled it away when realising it was as stained as his forehead. Rey smiled politely.

“Hi. Nice to meet you. I’m Kaydel.” _ Sorry, Connix _. Rey hoped the lack of buns in her hair would help her disguise. Thoreau gestured to his ship, that mechanical smile still plastered on his face.

“Let’s get going.”

* * *

“So, what brings you to the Outer Rim, young lady?” _ Young lady? _Thoreau looked as old as Rey, maybe a few years older. Rey turned to look at Thoreau in the pilot’s seat, meeting those dead eyes. He was unnerving, to say the least, but she was used to unnerving on Jakku.

“To meet with a friend. We were… separated during the war,” Rey replied. Thoreau’s eyes darkened, and he looked back towards the shooting beams of light in the cockpit’s window. 

“The war…” He trailed off. Rey dipped into the Force and was almost knocked over by the sheer _ strength _ of the dark energy emitting from Thoreau. She stared, wide-eyed, at the man, before muttering an excuse and leaving the cockpit.

* * *

“I’ve never seen such _darkness_ in a person before. You were right,” Rey said, her eyes shifting from the floor of her rented bedroom to Ben in the corner. His arms were crossed, and at her words, he raised an eyebrow. “It was like he was a conduit for dark energy. Almost like…” 

“Almost like Palpatine,” Ben finished the sentence. “You can’t stay there.” 

“Where else am I going to go? We’re in _ lightspeed, _ Ben. There’s nowhere to run.” Ben took a few steps towards her, wrapping his hands around hers. “I thought this wasn’t going to happen anymore.” Rey’s voice had dropped to a whisper. “Not after Snoke, after Palpatine. I thought we were safe_. _”

“Rey, there’s always going to be people who succumb to the Sith’s teachings. We can’t stop them.” Ben paused for a moment. “How was the Senate meeting?” Rey had almost forgotten about the Senate. The mention of the vast chambers sent anger flaring in her stomach. 

“They did _ nothing. _ Too worried about themselves to see the benefits.” Ben chuckled sarcastically at Rey’s sentence. He sat down beside her, wrapping his arms around her. She leaned into his shoulder, and his thumb traced circles into her shoulder.

“They never do. There’s a reason I wasn’t a senator.” Rey smiled, the rumble of Ben’s chest calming her.

“I miss you,” he whispered, and her heart sped up at the tone of his voice. She remembered all too well how easily he revealed his emotions. She remembered his shock on Starkiller Base, his fear on Ahch-To, his desperation on the _Supremacy._ She remembered his intensity when he kissed her, the feeling of electricity sparking between their lips. He had always been too intense, too soft, too emotional. But Rey understood, more than she thought she ever would. She understood why he pursed his lips and shied away when he was mad. She understood why he touched her delicately, hesitant before she encouraged him. Rey understood Ben. And he understood her. It was one of the reasons why she—

No. Wait. What was that feeling? The one coursing through her. She knew the name, knew the technical terms. But as they kissed, warmth radiating from his body, she refused to let herself think. Refused to utter the word, even in her mind. And she knew why. _Fear._ The posters on Naboo flashed in her mind. The protesters during the festival shortly followed. The attacker on Coruscant. Images circled in her head, refusing to let her breathe.

  
Rey pushed against Ben, and he groaned as she grabbed a fistful of dark hair. _ She couldn’t think._ So instead, she stepped forward, until Ben’s body was against the wall. Her hands slid up his torso, feeling the grooves in his tunic. She _ needed _to feel him, to know he was solid against her. As her hands wandered, she forced her mind to go blank, instead focussing on nothing but the man in front of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the missed upload last week, I was sick and couldn't upload in time. Here's an extra-long chapter to make up for it! also: three months until TROS!! 
> 
> thank you to Tehanu for beta-ing, as always. And thank you to my sister.
> 
> and thank you, readers!! Thank you for being patient while I was sick, and thank you for continuing to read this! I can't wait to go on this amazing adventure with you!
> 
> [my tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/auds-writing) and my brand new [twitter](https://twitter.com/auds_writing)


	8. Stormtrooper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben faces down an enemy on Wrea.

Ben woke up to rain.

It splattered against the _ Falcon _ , carrying with it howling winds and foggy horizons. Ben sat up in the _ Falcon’s _singular bed, breathing erratically.

_ Another nightmare _. One of Rey, dressed in dark clothes, red light flickering in her eyes. Of Palpatine, his voice grating against Ben’s skull. Of his father, his hands cold as he held Ben’s cheek for the last time.

Ben wandered the halls of the _ Falcon _, making his way towards the cockpit. He checked the navi-computer, finding nothing new. He sighed, refusing to acknowledge the pit in his stomach.

A week had passed since he saw Rey last. The plan was simple: Jump around cruisers and shuttles, double track in the third quadrant, take another ship towards the Outer Rim, then eventually make it to Wrea. _ Make sure nobody tracks you _. She had nodded, promising something she couldn’t promise. 

Now he spent his days looking to the sky, waiting for a seam in the sky, waiting for her to emerge from a metallic monstrosity. _ Where was she? _ Where was his love?

Ben pulled a drawer open, his lightsaber mocking him from the cabinet. _ Hello, _ it said. _ You haven’t used me since the war. What are you waiting for? _

He couldn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t. He knew what he would see if he ignited the lightsaber. Blood would shoot out of the exhaust ports, humming and crackling. Blood would stare into his eyes. 

Ben had heard of broken Kyber crystals being healed through the Force. Heard of a great Jedi, who used the Force to repair her lightsabers, until they shone with white light. There was no method, no written word that described the process. All Ben knew was that the Kyber crystals needed to be purified, freed from the anguish of bleeding. _ How could he free his Kyber crystal from anguish if he still felt anger? _Ben hooked the lightsaber to his belt, then clothed himself in his tunic and boots, connecting the cloak to his shoulders. He pulled the hood over his head, then lowered the ramp and stepped outside.

The smell of wet, fresh air hit his senses, and he breathed in deeply. Rain pounded on his hood, yet no drops hit his skin. He raised his hand to his forehead, blocking the rain as he glanced upwards. A streak of dark cut through the rolling clouds. _ Was that…? _ It couldn’t be. Rey would have contacted him somehow.

The ship circled around the island a couple of times, before landing some ways from the _ Falcon _ . _ There it was again. _ The dark pulse, emanating from the ship. Ben’s hand fell to his lightsaber, resting on it, but not grabbing it.

The ramp from the unknown shuttle lowered, and a white figure emerged from it. Its head was covered by a white Stormtrooper helmet. The figure was draped in white robes similar to Ben’s when he was under Snoke. The only difference between his old robes and the figure's robes was the colour. 

“Kylo Ren,” the figure said, the voice amplified by the mask to be heard over the rain. “I’ve been looking for you for a long time.” Ben grabbed his lightsaber, igniting it. Red cut through the rain, the blade crackling and sparking. 

“What do you want?” Ben shouted over the rain. The dark crevices of the Stormtrooper helmet gazed into his soul. The Stormtrooper did not answer, pulling out a blaster and firing it. Ben brought up his lightsaber, blocking the bolt. It shattered into the ground, dirt crashing into the air. The Stormtrooper fired with more ferocity, diving behind a rock to avoid the bolts that Ben sent hurtling back towards them. Thunder echoed across the island, shaking the ground. Ben stopped thinking as he blocked the bolts, letting his mind go blank as he stepped closer and closer to the Stormtrooper. A bolt slipped by Ben’s lightsaber but stopped in midair. Ben sent the bolt away with the Force, then charged the Stormtrooper. White flashed in Ben’s vision as the Stormtrooper took out another weapon, a bulky, staff-like weapon with sparks flying out of the ends. It was old in making, at least pre-Empire, yet was visibly modified. The Stormtrooper jumped out of their hiding space, charging. Ben barely brought up his lightsaber before the Stormtrooper struck, sparks and electricity flying between them. Ben stared into the black divots of the mask. It sucked away at Ben, almost taunting in its ambiguity. Ben faltered for a second, but it was all that the Stormtrooper needed.

The Stormtrooper shoved the end of the staff into Ben’s midsection, and Ben dropped his lightsaber as he cried out in pain. It felt like his entire body was alight like he was drowning in the sky like he was being boiled alive in the hottest star. He fell to his knees, and the Stormtrooper drove the staff further into Ben’s skin. The smell of smoke wafted from Ben’s stomach, fogging his vision. 

“Coward. That’s what you are. A coward. You don’t deserve redemption.” The Stormtrooper’s voice cut through the pain, bouncing in Ben’s head as electricity burned through his veins. A flash of pain erupted from his stomach, and the hot end of the staff dug into his skin. Ben could barely think, barely breathe, as the Stormtrooper tortured him. _ He was going to die here. _

The staff removed itself from Ben’s stomach, and he collapsed onto the floor, shaking uncontrollably. The pain did not stop; it bloomed, tracing patterns under his skin. He took an unsteady breath, trying to ground himself. _ Focus. _

He felt the rain, hissing as it fell on his burnt skin. He felt the remains of electricity, sparking and jumping in his veins. He felt the pain, snaking through him, bringing him to the edge of unconsciousness. But he couldn’t pass out now. The Stormtrooper is still there, ready to attack at any moment. Ben tried to open his eyes, but the brightness of the world burned him, and he quickly shut them. _ The pain. _

_ No. Not now. Focus on the rain, splashing around you. The feeling of the cool droplets as they slid into your hair, your ears, down your neck. On the wet tracks they leave behind. Focus. Focus. _Not on your body, heaving and thrashing on the dirt. Not on the pain, boiling and bright. Not on the white mask, which is surely going to kill you. 

He couldn’t hear anything over the roaring in his ears. A warm feeling trickled from his nose and spilt down his lips. It tasted of iron, of red liquid, of the ichor of life. It tasted like blood.

He could feel his heartbeat in the throb of pain throughout him. It was fast, too fast, frantically beating against his ribcage. 

Stormtrooper’s words filled his head. _ You don’t deserve redemption. Redemption _ . Even the word _ redemption _ was heavy with meaning. Did Ben gain redemption? The answer was obvious, at least to him.

He could never gain redemption. He will never be forgiven.

Ben hissed in pain as a cool pressure brushed at his arm. His mind was screaming at him, _ escape, run, fight, do something! _But he couldn’t see, couldn’t even move. The touch was soft, travelling up his arm to cup his cheek. Ben strained against it, trying to move. Sharp burning shot through him and his head collapsed against the dirt. His mind was foggy, unconsciousness biting at the edges. He tried to fight it, tried to stay awake, but he soon slipped into empty bliss.

* * *

_ He felt her swollen lips press against him, a hint of desperation in the kiss. His hands trailed down to her hips, tracing the patterns in her clothes. Her hands tangled in his hair, and he hissed in pain when she tugged at his scalp. He murmured her name as she scratched her mark in his skin. There was something beating in his chest, sinking into his core`. Everywhere she touched burned, the heat almost unbearable. He wanted the heat, wanted the desperation between them. Cool metal dug into his spine, and his hands trailed down her thighs, hitching them onto him. _

_ He lifted her without effort, their lips still pressed together. Swinging her around, they both collapsed on the bed, forcing them apart. She giggled, her eyes sparkling, and for a moment he only wanted to gaze into those eyes. _

_ She wrapped her legs around his thighs, flipping them around so she was on top of him. He could barely breathe, gaze caught on her flushed face. She tugged at his tunic, unzipping then pushing it off of his chest. He lifted his arms as she pulled his undershirt off of him, tossing the clothes to a pile somewhere in the corner of the room. His fingers fumbled with her clothes before he decided it was too complicated. His hands fisted in her clothes, pulling her down into a kiss. _

_ She slowed their frantic movements, languidly trailing her lips down his jawline and towards his neck. There was a hesitation in her movements, almost unsure. He groaned, stretching his neck to encourage her. The feeling of her lips against his skin was almost euphoric. _

_ What came next was hard to remember. He remembered wanting, pooling between them. He remembered her eyes, sparkling and deep with desire. He remembered the feeling of them entwined, in a way he’s never been before. He remembered the highs, the come-downs, and everything in between. _

_ But most of all, he remembered her, the woman he loved. He remembered her nose, her lips, her hair, her skin, her eyes. He drank in the sight of her, needing to commit every last detail to memory. He needed her. _

_ Afterwards, she curled next to him, her breath tickling his skin. He remembered wrapping his arms around her, never wanting to let go. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Upload day! And we're getting so much canon content! I am LIVING!!
> 
> Also here's some Trivia: The planet Wrea does actually exist in Star Wars canon. It can be found on the Star Wars Wikia.
> 
> Thank you to Tehanu for beta-ing, and thank you to my sister for supporting me. I have no words for how much I appreciate you both. My sister and I once spent an entire twenty minutes talking about how Ben Solo is going to be redeemed. She thinks he's gonna die. Prove her wrong, Lucasfilm!
> 
> And thank you, readers! We're delving into the more angsty portions of the story, and the Stormtrooper will be back. Duh duh, DUUUUH!
> 
> [my tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/auds-writing) and [my twitter](https://twitter.com/auds_writing)


	9. Lifeless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey watches over Ben as he recovers from his injuries.

Rey could see the battle from her small, borrowed shuttle. She could see the signature red of Ben’s lightsaber, blocking blaster bolts from what looks like… a Stormtrooper? She pressed a few buttons on the console, putting the shuttle into silent mode. She couldn’t afford the Stormtrooper to see her. 

She landed the shuttle, reaching for her lightsaber before rushing out of the cockpit. The wet smell of fresh air hit her senses, and she breathed in deeply. The trees towered over her, hiding her from plain sight.

She peeked out from behind the trees, keeping a careful eye on the clearing. There was Ben, hair wild and wet, a ferocious look on his face. She sucked in air, forgetting how to breathe for a second or two. Then her eyes laid on the figure clad in white, trading its blaster for a staff. The figure lept, striking their staff against Ben’s lightsaber. Even from her hiding place, Rey could read the turmoil on Ben’s face. She unsheathed her lightsaber, igniting it.  _ She had to help Ben _ .

The figure twisted its staff, shoving the electrified end into Ben. Ben shouted in pain, collapsing against the ground. Rey’s heart raced, and she jumped out from behind the trees to race towards the Stormtrooper. Ben’s cries echoed through her head, and Rey felt tears stream down her cheeks.  _ No. Never again.  _ Nobody would ever take Ben from her again.

As Rey ran down the hill, thunder rolled in the sky. A piercing scream accompanied the thunder, and it took Rey a second to realise it was coming from her. The Stormtrooper turned around, pulling the staff from Ben’s chest. Smoke curled from the wound, funnelling into the sky.

Rey swung her lightsaber at the Stormtrooper; a boom erupted from the two weapons meeting, electricity against the lightsaber. The Stormtrooper deftly blocked her attacks, wielding the ancient staff. Rey spotted Ben’s lightsaber beside him, still ignited. She reached out with the Force, pulling the lightsaber into her hand. The Stormtrooper took a step back, unused to the pressure from two lightsabers. 

“Stop,” the Stormtrooper said, voice hidden behind thick amplification. Even BB-8 and R2-D2 had more personality than the Stormtrooper. Rey froze in place when she saw the blaster pointed at Ben’s head.

“I can assure you, this blaster bolt will reach him faster than you can reach me. Let me leave, and I won’t shoot him.” Rey looked from Ben to the Stormtrooper, knowing that the words were true. Now more than ever, she wished she had the ability to freeze objects in the Force like Ben could. Her stomach in knots, she nodded, sheathing the lightsabers. The Stormtrooper switched off the electricity to their staff, keeping their blaster trained on Ben as they backed up, until they had retreated into their ship. The bay doors closed as the engines sputtered to life. Rey took out the blaster that Han had given her and started to shoot at the shuttle.  _ Blast.  _ The Stormtrooper’s ship had the kriffing shields activated. Rey holstered the blaster, running to Ben’s side.

His eyes were closed, and his limbs twitched erratically. Rey pressed her ear to his chest, listening to his heartbeat.  _ Please, Maker, let him be alive.  _ There it was, a rapid fluttering. But it was there. Rey was lucky he was such a strong, healthy man. His heart could take electricity. But if she didn’t get him to a medical facility, he would die. 

But therein was the problem.  _ How was she supposed to get him help if he was supposed to be dead?  _ She had to go somewhere she trusted, somewhere where she knew they wouldn’t just dump him out of the airlock.

And that’s when it hit her. A nearby starship, a medical frigate that would have everything Ben needed. Somewhere private, with restricted access. It was perfect. But it would also mean breaking her promise to Ben not to reveal he was alive.

As Rey stared at Ben’s twitching body, she knew what was more important. Rey pulled out her comm and made a call.

* * *

Rey watched as doctors and droids alike carted Ben away, chattering to each other with words Rey didn’t understand. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, could only watch as Ben’s dark form receded from view.

A hand rested on her shoulder, and Rey jumped, turning around. Leia’s warm eyes greeted her, a strength in her form. Leia looked unstoppable, but Rey could see the worry in her eyes. Rey wrapped her arms around Leia, allowing herself to relax. 

“I’m sorry,” Rey whispered into Leia’s shoulder. She didn’t know exactly what she was apologising for. Letting Ben’s mother believe he was dead? Keeping him secret? Letting him be injured? Leia’s hand rubbed Rey’s back comfortingly, and the older woman gently led them to the seats.

“It’s not your fault, Rey. He’s a grown man, he can make his own decisions. You didn’t  _ let  _ him do anything,” Leia replied, and Rey pulled away, keeping her hands wrapped in Leia’s. The older woman’s eyes were warm, but there was a depth to them, hiding the worry Rey knew Leia felt. Ben was her only son, a misguided one, but still her son. No matter what, Leia would always love him. Rey felt a ping of jealousy, but it melted away. Rey thought of Leia as a mother, and she hoped Leia loved her. 

“I didn’t mean to keep him a secret, I swear. He made me promise—” Rey started, but Leia quieted her with a look.

“I know. There’s nothing we can do about it now. We just need to wait.” Rey nodded, letting go of Leia’s hands as she peered into the hallway Ben had disappeared into. Ben would survive. He had to.

* * *

Rey touched the cool glass separating her and Ben. The bacta-tank shuddered and hissed, but the medical droid on duty promised Rey it was stable. Ben floated in the bacta, eyes closed as air was pumped into his lungs. The droid had promised that Ben would be alright, that there wouldn’t be any lasting damage.

“It was good that you brought him here in time,” the droid had said, monotone and lifeless. Rey had nodded, not daring to say anything lest she break into tears.

_ He looks dead,  _ Rey thought, watching Ben. His skin was too pale, almost see-through. His dark hair contrasted his blank face, almost like a halo shimmering around him.  _ He looks beautiful.  _ During their short time together, Rey would wake up earlier than Ben. With her eyes, she would trace the curve of his nose, the dip of his lips, the lines of his jaw. Only in his sleep did he look at peace, comfortable,  _ safe.  _ She always loved when she woke up before him. When she could see him without his walls, without his defences. 

“Please,” Rey whispered, staring at Ben’s closed eyes, “please come home.”

* * *

It took three days for Ben to recover enough to leave the bacta. Rey spent the entire time by his side, often meditating, trying to find the Stormtrooper in the Force. But it was a dead end. Just as quickly as they had appeared, the Stormtrooper was gone.

Rey kept by Ben’s side as he slept on the bed, waiting for him to wake up. She looked to the medical droid, who by now was tired of her constant questions. Leia had to leave due to a Senate meeting, but she made Rey promise to comm her when Ben woke up. The medical droid nodded its head, pressing a few buttons on a device next to him. 

She held Ben’s hand, watching his face for any signs. His eyelids fluttered, and Rey started to squeeze his hand tighter. She could hear her own heartbeat in her ears, roaring and constant.

Ben’s eyes shot open, and he lurched forward, his body twitching and jerking to life. Rey grabbed Ben, and his wide eyes focused on her. He calmed down, face melting into medicated bliss.

“Ben, it’s okay, you’re safe, it’s okay, you’re alright,” Rey chanted, gently laying Ben back on the bed. He relaxed, his entire body going limp. Rey cupped his cheek, her right hand still in his. He leaned into the touch, eyes starting to flutter. 

“Rey…” he murmured. He was starting to fall asleep again. Rey rubbed her thumb across his skin, feeling the scratchy stubble beneath her fingers. She kissed his head as he fell back asleep, watching as his chest started to rise and fall evenly.  
  


* * *

“I’m fine, Rey,” Ben protested, batting Rey’s hand away as she tried to help him down the stairs. She shot Ben a look, and he promptly shut up, letting Rey grasp his arm and support him as he took tentative steps down the stairs. He made it without much effort, and Rey beamed at him.

The medical droid said that Ben should stay off his feet for a day or so, but after that, he would be back to normal. Rey had listened to the droid, wanting to absorb everything she could so she could be prepared. 

Rey let her hand fall down to Ben’s, entwining their fingers together. He smiled at her, a bright smile that Rey revelled in. They walked down to the hanger hand-in-hand, and Rey almost bounced when she walked. Everything was perfect; she had Ben back, they were together, and nothing could stop them.

Ben hesitated at the  _ Falcon’s  _ ramp, but he followed Rey in without protest. She knew how hard it was to see his father’s ship.  _ Hopefully, _ Rey thought,  _ maybe he’ll start to think of it as  _ his  _ ship. _

Rey sat down in the pilot’s seat, the console’s notification system flashing at her. She opened the console’s datapad, then almost dropped the datapad in shock.

_ Kylo Ren is ALIVE. _

_ Earlier today, Galactic Standard Time, it was revealed that Kylo Ren, Sith fanatic and murderer of beloved war hero Han Solo, was seen walking out of one of the Republic Mobile Hospitals in Section 21 of the Outer Rim. Ren was accompanied by Jedi Master Rey, former leader of the Resistance, and long-time enemy of Ren. Witnesses say Rey and Ren’s hands were locked, as they smiled and entered the  _ Millennium Falcon’s  _ hangar. Another witness comments, “It feels like a betrayal. They’re supposed to be enemies! Enemies don’t hold hands!” _

_ Evidently the war criminal and the Jedi are now in a romantic relationship. We had formerly been led to assume that Kylo Ren had perished in the fight against Sith Lord Sheev Palpatine. It now seems that Rey had sequestered Kylo Ren away. _

_ Many are outraged at Kylo Ren’s presence, believing that he should be put on trial and executed for his crimes against the galaxy. Senator Leia Organa refused to comment. _

* * *

Ben couldn’t breathe. He was gasping for air, his chest heaving as he crawled forward. The buzzing of his lightsaber was almost deafening. Sand and grit dug under his fingernails, water soaked his hair, wind chilled his skin. 

_ Rey.  _ Her named echoed through his head, and he repeated it like a prayer. There were screams, faint, yet desperate. He grunted, pushing past the rain and the wind and the unfamiliar sensation in his stomach. His boots slipped through the sand, and he slowly inched forward. Ben looked up, vast darkness before him. The storm was blinding, and the only light was from Ben’s lightsaber beside him. Another scream echoed through the storm, and Ben felt his heart hammering in his chest.  _ Move, _ he shouted at himself.  _ MOVE! _

He reached out across the sand, but a boot stepped on his fingers. Ben cried out, pain shooting from his hand. At least two fingers were broken, and that sensation in his stomach was starting to twinge with pain.

“You’re not going anywhere, Ben Solo,” a mechanical voice said, and Ben shivered.  _ It couldn’t be. _ Ben looked upwards, the feeling in his stomach almost burning in its intensity. Kylo Ren was staring back at him, cowl wrapped around him and cloak brushing against the wind. If Ben looked closely, he could see his own pained face in the reflection of the mask.

“No…” Ben whispered, and Kylo leaned forward, putting more pressure on Ben’s fingers. The sound of two more fingers breaking echoed between them.

“Ben, Ben, Ben,” Kylo shook his head, his tone mocking and cruel, “she left. Your precious Rey has left, your mother has left, and now you’re left— with me! The entire galaxy knows your name. They’re coming for you. You can’t stop it. You can’t stop  _ me. _ ”

Ben grasped at his chest with his other hand, screaming in pain as a hole was burned into his chest. Kylo Ren bent down, eye to eye with Ben. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see, couldn’t think.

“Looks like you’re running out of time, Ben. Did you really think that she would fill the hole in your heart? I don’t think so.” Kylo stepped back, grabbing the lightsaber at Ben’s side. Ben curled in on himself, desperately watching Kylo.

“Goodbye, Ben Solo. Just know this: Rey isn’t here to watch you die.”

* * *

Ben shot up, breathing heavily as he reached out. He pawed at his stomach, but there was nothing there. He was okay. It was just a dream. He looked to his left, watching as Rey’s chest rose steadily. After the mobile hospital, they had tucked the  _ Falcon _ in a secluded part of space. Rey wanted to do something about the news article, but Ben had refused. He knew how these politics worked. He needed to wait it out, maybe come up with a plan.

The entire galaxy knew he was alive. His heart started to beat faster at the thought. No longer was he safe, sequestered away in his little apartment on Coruscant. The man in the bar on Coruscant floated through his memory. That man had attacked him, without even being sure Ben was still alive. Now, Ben was sure that grieving, angry citizens would stop at nothing to kill him.

The Stormtrooper. Who was it? Just another protester of the First Order, a protester of the Republic? Or something more? Ben remembered the pilot that had taken Rey across the Middle Rim. She had described him as an evil wave in the Force. Could he be the mysterious Stormtrooper? 

The sound of the comm ringing interrupted Ben’s thinking. Rey shuffled in the bed next to him, murmuring indecipherable words. Ben kissed the top of her head, then pulled back the sheets, sliding out of bed. His footsteps were quiet as he made his way to the cockpit, looking at the console.  _ Interesting.  _ The call was coming from the Inner Rim. Ben pushed the button on the console, crossing his arms as he sat in the pilot’s chair.

Poe Dameron flickered to life in the holo, dressed in formal clothes and looking quite angry. Next to him was the former Stormtrooper he knew as Finn, a worried look on his face. Ben tried to hide his nervousness at talking to Rey’s friends without her. Despite what they had gone through together, Ben knew that Dameron and Finn didn’t trust him. 

“Where’s Rey?” Finn said, eyebrows furrowing at the sight of Ben. Poe put his hands on his hips, gritting his teeth. 

“Sleeping. I’m assuming you’re calling about the Victory Tour. Sorry to ruin it.” The sarcasm was automatic, and by the look on the two men’s faces, Ben should’ve just kept his mouth shut.

“Something like that. So, you’re alive,” Poe’s voice was snarky as he spat the words out. 

“Looks like you aren’t rid of me yet, Dameron,” Ben replied, feeling slightly at ease when he was teasing Dameron. Finn watched the exchange with wide eyes. Ben never personally met Finn when he was in the Order, but every Stormtrooper knew of Kylo Ren. Every Stormtrooper feared Kylo Ren.

For a minute, there was only the buzzing sound of the holo between the three of them. Ben shifted in his seat, and Finn looked off-camera towards someone else.  _ Time to be brave, Solo. _

“Rey’s okay, by the way. She’s just shaken about… the galaxy knowing I’m alive. She’s worried about you, too,” Ben said, his voice softer. Poe looked surprised, unguarded in his expression. Finn let out a breath, straightening his stance. 

“Thank you,” Finn replied, sincerity coating his statement. Despite their differences, Ben knew that they all cared for Rey, in their own ways. They all loved her.

“If you want, we can meet you on a planet. Somewhere private. We can see each other.” The words spilt out of Ben’s mouth before he had a chance to think. He knew it would be good, but there was still the ever-present danger lurking in the shadows. Finn nodded enthusiastically, and Poe’s face lit up. 

“I’ll send you the coordinates,” Poe said, and the holo fizzed out. Ben rubbed the bridge of his nose, wondering to himself what the kriff he had done. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought that the trailer would come out on Triple Force Friday, but it didn't happen. Also, apparently we have 75 more days until TROS! I'm so excited! I can't wait!
> 
> Thank you to Tehanu for beta-ing, and thank you to my sister. I can never thank you enough.
> 
> and THANK YOU, READERS! I'm so glad you're coming along on this journey with me!
> 
> [my tumblr](https://auds-writing.tumblr.com/) and [my twitter](https://twitter.com/auds_writing)


	10. Ghosts In The Corridors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben go to Naboo to meet with Poe, Finn, and Rose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is smut at the end of this chapter, just so you know.

“Naboo? Why Naboo?” Ben asked, staring outside the cockpit. It looked like paradise outside, with chirping birds and a gentle breeze caressing the trees. Rey strapped her staff to her back, turning to Ben.

“Leia has a house here, remember? She inherited it from her birth mother. I stayed here after the war; people know me here,” Rey said. Ben looked at Rey, then back towards Naboo. He knew of the Amidala house, despite never coming here as a child. He had heard stories of Senator Amidala as a child, heard of her bravery and wit. But he never  _ knew  _ her, and his mother never spoke of her. Ben followed Rey out of the  _ Falcon, _ unable to take his eyes off of the homestead planted on the small island. It felt safe here, the Force wrapping around the house and inviting anyone inside. 

Rey grabbed at Ben’s arm, taking him out of his focus. Poe Dameron, Finn, and Rose Tico were chatting idly near the entrance to the house. Rey let go of him, rushing towards her friends. She embraced Finn first, squeezing him tight. Finn said something Ben couldn’t hear, then the four of them laughed.

_ This is where Rey was meant to be, _ Ben thought to himself.  _ Among friends.  _ Rey flourished when she was surrounded by people who loved her. Standing here, watching Rey, Ben knew he made the right decision to go into exile alone. She would have struggled without her friends. 

“Ben, come here!” Rey shouted at him, turning towards him with a grin on her face. Ben couldn’t help but smile back at her, jogging towards her to catch up.

* * *

After a few minutes of awkward silences and light-hearted teasing from Rose, he started to open up to her friends. It brought joy to her heart to see Ben joking with Rose, debating with Poe, talking with Finn. When he was comfortable, Ben had a sharp mind and was quick to respond with sarcasm. Rey wasn’t blind, though. She saw Finn’s wariness, Poe’s watchful gaze. She knew they were expecting him to snap. Rose seemed to be the only one who treated Ben normally. 

“So, Rey never did tell us how she killed Snoke. Were you there? Do you know?” Rose asked. Ben froze in place, his eyes darkening as hands curled into fists. Rey was ready to jump to his defence when he started to speak in a low voice.

“I killed him. He held Rey in front of me with the Force and asked me to kill her. I killed him instead.” Finn’s eyes shot out of his sockets, and Poe looked like he was seconds away from a heart attack. 

  
“Really?” Finn almost whispered. Ben nodded, raising his head to meet Finn’s eyes. Rey could feel the boiling in the Force. Then, Finn held out his hand, slightly shaking. It was Ben’s turn to looked shocked, but he took the hand and shook it firmly. 

“Thank you,” Finn said, and Ben nodded, an imperceptible smile on his face.

* * *

Ben stretched on the bed, relishing the space. Even on the  _ Supremacy,  _ his feet had always hung off the edge of the bed. The rooms in the Amidala residence were lavish and carefully decorated, with plush pillows on the beds and regal couches arranged in the rooms. It was familiar to Ben, the decor reminding him of childhood days spent running around his mother and father’s many houses. Even now, Rey was astonished by the homestead, eyes wide as she took in the large ceilings and long tables. 

“Enjoying the room?” Rey asked, standing on the foot of the bed as she slipped her shoes off. Light bled into the room, bathing Rey in a silvery light. It reminded Ben of certain moments after Snoke’s death, when he would lie on his bed and imagine Rey beside him, Rey next to him, Rey above him. He would stay up through the night, wishing Rey was by his side. And now, she finally was. But not in the way he ever expected.

“Maybe.” Ben propped himself up on his elbows, watching idly as Rey undid her buns. She stepped out of her clothes until she had on just her undershirt and loose silken pants. Warmth spread through Ben, his heart beating rapidly. He smiled, and Rey blushed when she noticed his stare.

He couldn’t deny the twisting nervousness in his gut. But when Rey climbed onto the bed and touched her lips to his, all of his worries melted away. Ben’s hands slid under her clothes, touching her soft skin. She gripped at his hair, twisting her fingers in the locks. He rocked underneath her, desperation starting to grow. She moaned into his mouth, and he pulled her closer to him.

“Rey,” he murmured into her skin. She kissed down his jaw, squeezing her thighs against his. Ben leaned back, letting her lips draw a path down his skin. Ben had never been more thankful that he slept shirtless.

Rey lifted her lips shimmying out of her pants. She lifted her arms, and Ben pushed her shirt off of her, leaving just her panties and her chest wrap. His pants were starting to strain, his breath coming in short gasps. Rey returned to her ministrations, kissing down his sternum and down to his bellybutton. Ben gripped the bed frame, tilting his head towards the ceiling. He was aflame, and everywhere Rey touched burned.

Her hands clutched at his ass, lifting them. He pulled his pants and underwear down, kicking them off as Rey’s fingernails dug pinpricks of pain. She sat back up, her eyes trailing from his swollen lips to his bare chest to his painfully erect cock. 

“Please,” Ben whimpered, the pressure almost unbearable. Rey slowly pulled her panties down, keeping her eyes on Ben. He shivered at the sight, clutching and pawing at the bed frame. She sunk slowly onto him, the pressure intensifying. He rocked against her, and she stifled a moan as she grabbed his legs.

“More,” Rey said, pulling his hands down to her clit. He lightly rubbed, and her entire body started to shake. The very sight of it was almost enough to finish him. 

“ _ Ben,”  _ Rey moaned, and he shuddered as his orgasm overtook him. 

Rey’s fingers bruised his thighs as she shuddered and shivered, rocking unsteadily against him. It lasted for a minute, then she pulled herself off, collapsing next to him.

Ben stared at the ceiling, chest heaving as he regained his breath. He could hear Rey panting beside him, and he turned to face her. Her cheeks were flushed with red, hair a mess as strands fell in her face. She never looked more beautiful. She chuckled, her hand cupping his cheek. He leaned into the touch, closing his eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a filler chapter as I prepare the characters for the next "arc" of the story. This is also one of my first times writing smut, so I hope you enjoyed. As it's not TOO explicit, I'll leave the rating as it is. 
> 
> Thank you to Tehanu, who's simple way of explaining things makes it so much easier to write. And thank you to my sister, who actually gave me the idea for the next arc. 
> 
> and THANK YOU, READERS!! We're at TEN chapters now, and it wouldn't have happened if not for you! I write for myself, like most writers, but there's something inspiring about seeing the support from readers. I honestly cannot thank you enough.
> 
> [my tumblr](https://auds-writing.tumblr.com/) and [my twitter](https://twitter.com/auds_writing)


	11. Signal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group, plus Ben, goes to investigate a strange signal.

Rey kept her eyes trained on the cockpit’s window, watching the blurs of stars rushing by her. Her stomach was in knots, a byproduct of an uneasy feeling that washed over her. If she looked to her right, she’d see Ben, lips pressed into a thin line as he tapped on the console.

She stood up suddenly, gaining a look from Ben as she left the cockpit. She approached the lounge, then spun on her heel and walked back towards the cockpit. Once again hesitating, Rey turned back towards the lounge and entered. The anticipation was getting to her. Finn and Rose looked up from the hologram before them. Rose tapped the table in front of her, and Poe peeked over his shoulder to see Rey.

“Rey, glad you could join us.” Poe’s tone was warm but firm, an air of authority about him.

“Hey,” Rey replied, sitting next to Finn. He took her hand and squeezed it; Rey couldn’t help but squeeze back. If she focused, Rey could feel the slight shake to Finn’s hand. After months of peace, it was daunting to be flying back into a potential mission.

“So, I’ve been analysing the signal we received, and I think that it came from the eastern side of the planet, near those rock formations.” Poe spun the holo before him, zooming in on unstable structures of stone, covered with a fine layer of grey dust. It looked almost like the valleys in Jakku where Rey used to scavenge. She used to hide in the crevices from the sandstorms, watching the sand block out the sun as it flew past her. 

“I don’t see any metal, or anything that looks man-made. But the signal is definitely coming from there. The planet’s marked as abandoned, so it should be safe. We should still bring blasters, as a precaution,” Poe continued. Rey glanced over at Finn, whose eyes were narrowed in concentration as he thoughtfully examined the holo. She looked back towards the holo, the uneasy feeling in her stomach intensifying. Something was wrong, Rey knew. She just didn’t know _ what._

* * *

As Ben landed the _ Falcon, _ he internally prepared himself for battle. He hadn’t been in a _ true _ battle since the war. It brought back memories of his early days with the First Order, wiping out villages, staring into paralysed eyes as they tried to fight back with meagre weapons. Ben didn’t think that he could ever erase those images from his mind. He had told himself, kneeling in front of the molten helmet of Darth Vader, that the wrenching pain in his heart was there to help him. How wrong he was. 

Ben hooked his lightsaber to his belt, making his way to the hallway that housed the exit of the _ Falcon. _ Rose was strapping extra charges for her taser to her belt. Poe’s hand pressed the button, and the _ Falcon _ shuddered as the ramp slowly lowered. Rey gripped her lightsaber, a hardened expression masking the doubt both of them felt. Just like Rey, Ben could sense the _ wrongness _ in the Force. This entire operation stunk of a trap. But _ what could they do? _ It was only a vague sensation, something they couldn’t pinpoint. All they could do was prepare.

The group stepped out of the _ Falcon. _Ashy grey rocks towered all around them, and the sky was devoid of colour. There was no wind, no clouds, no sounds. The entire planet was on pause, waiting to see what they would do. 

“Let’s go,” Poe said, his words swallowed by the valley. Ben pressed a button on the outside of the _ Falcon, _and the ship’s ramp slid back into the underbelly. A light sprinkling of the ash-coloured substance starting to fall around them. Poe led them, followed by Finn and Rose, their eyes trained on their surroundings. Ben and Rey were behind the three, their steps uncertain. Ben caught a glimpse of Poe’s frown as they trekked through the valley.

The signal was half a klick away from their landing zone. Rose had expertly pointed out that the spot where they parked the _ Falcon _ seemed to be the only landing zone that could hold a ship. As they walked, Ben felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. There was a distinct feeling crawling up his spine, causing him to spin around and search for enemies. Yet, when he used the Force, nothing was out of place. In fact, the Force was uncooperative with Ben, refusing to tell him anything except _ wrong, wrong, wrong! _

* * *

The holo opened up on a woman bathed in shadows. All one could see was her angular jaw, her sharp nose, her wide, fearful eyes. Dark locks woven in elaborate braids framed her face, almost imperceptible from the darkness covering half of her face. She looked behind her, then spun back towards the camera. She was visibly shaking. 

“They’re coming,” she whispered, her voice melodious, yet raspy. She sounded like a singer one could find in the underground clubs in Coruscant. Her eyes darted left and right, almost glowing. She reached towards the camera, fiddling with something, then stepped forward into the light, illuminating the rest of her face. 

“Please, help us.” A tear slipped down her cheek, her eyes desperate. In the background was the sound of a blaster, loud and startling. The woman jumped, looking towards the sound, then she turned back towards the camera, her voice turning shrill as she started to shout at the camera.

“Please, help us, he’s here, help!” She shrieked as a white-gloved hand snatched her out of the camera’s view. The camera fell to the ground, focusing on the grey ash dotting the floor. From off-camera, the woman let out an ear-splitting scream, which was quickly stopped. There was a dull thud, and the woman’s body fell in front of the camera, smouldering and smoking. 

“Search the rest,” a mechanical voice said, eerily similar to Kylo Ren’s mask. “There’s nothing else here.”

The holo shut off with a click.

* * *

Rey was the first one to spot the antenna poking out of one of the formations. She jogged up to Poe, tapping his shoulder, then pointing towards the antenna. He held his hand up, stopping them. Rey’s thumb rested on the button on her lightsaber, ready to ignite it at a moment’s notice. Poe signalled to them, first pointing at Rey and Ben, then towards the left side of the rock formation, then to Rose and Finn. The message was clear. Ben and Rey would approach the antenna first, covered by Finn and Rose. Rey looked to Ben, who nodded.

Their steps were impossibly loud, surely alerting something to their presence. But as Rey and Ben crept up on the antenna, nothing came out to attack them. The antenna was sticking out of an entrance to a cave. Stray boxes and equipment were laid beneath the overhand of rock, hidden from satellite view. The antenna was painted the same colour as the rock around it. Whoever had lived here had taken great care to hide the place, and had left in a hurry. 

The Force rippled, sending a hazy feeling of _ DANGER _ before cutting off entirely. Rey gasped turning to Ben. He squinted, nodding to her. So he felt it too. A thought repeated in Rey’s head, until it became the only thing she could hear. _ They shouldn’t be here. _

The five of them advanced towards the cave, all light being blocked out as they went under the overhang. Finn, Rose, and Poe fumbled for their torches, while Ben and Rey ignited their lightsabers. Rey could hear Rose’s gasp of shock, and Rey felt her heart fall in her chest.

The cave was covered in blood, the dark liquid staining the walls. On the floor in the deeper part of the cave was a pile of bodies, their limbs twisted in awkward angles and petrified expressions of terror frozen on their faces. Blood seeped from gashes and cuts, and a few bodies were still smoking from blaster burns. Ben turned off his lightsaber and stepped forward, peering at the blood on the walls. He pulled off a glove, barely brushing his finger against the liquid. His hand came back red. 

“Still wet,” Ben said. Rey could see his mental walls building, could see Ben cutting himself off from his emotions. In the back of her mind, she registered the sound of feet behind her. But she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the bodies. _ This was the work of a monster. _

“So,” a voice said from behind them, static hissing and crackling from the modulator. Rey spun around, starting to shake when she saw the Stormtrooper facing them, surrounded by others in standard Stormtrooper armour. “You got my message, Kylo Ren.”

* * *

“No,” Ben whispered, feeling sick. The Stormtrooper didn’t move, the guards pointing blasters at the group. Ben felt like collapsing, like throwing up, like throwing his lightsaber into the nearest structure, like curling up into a ball and crying. _ Not again. They couldn’t be here. _

“Look familiar, Kylo Ren?” The black slit of the mask was staring into Ben’s eyes. “This is what they looked like. All the villages you slaughtered. All the people you killed. After you were done with your little ‘search’, they piled the bodies and burned them. Children cried when they watched their parents’ bodies smoulder. And it took even longer to clean the blood.” Ben could barely see his surroundings, could barely sense Rey next to him. He started to take a step forward, but the guards’ blasters were trained on him.

“Don’t move, Kylo Ren. Unless you want your friends to die. Though I suppose that you don’t care much for these three.” The blasters switched, pointing at Poe, Finn, and Rose. “After all, they were your enemies, a short while ago. Didn’t you torture poor Poe Dameron? Didn’t you terrorise Finn when he was still a lowly Stormtrooper?” 

Ben’s blood roared in his ears, and his hands started to shake. 

“Rey and Rose Tico. Step away from the boys,” the Stormtrooper said. Some of the guards stepped towards them, grabbing Rey and Ben’s lightsabers and the blasters out of their hands. Two more Stormtroopers grabbed Rey and Rose, pulling them away from him. Ben broke, rushing forward, seeing red. A blaster hit Ben, and he fell backwards, stunned from the bolt.

“I told you to stay still.” As Ben started to rise, he heard the Stormtrooper’s last words. “Remember, Kylo Ren. You can’t run away from what you’ve done. I wonder, will it be Finn who kills you first? Or Poe Dameron?”

Ben caught Rey’s panicked expression as the Stormtroopers shot the overhang, leaving the rocks to shatter and collapse in front of them. The last sliver of light disappeared, leaving Ben, Poe, and Finn in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CANNOT wait for the trailer. I am so excited! Could it come any sooner! By the time some of you will be reading this, the trailer will already be out! Lucky you!
> 
> Thank you to Tehanu, for your wise words and support. And thank you to my sister, for the idea for this story arc. 
> 
> and THANK YOU, READERS!! I'm very excited for what's to come next, and I hope you are too!
> 
> [my tumblr](https://auds-writing.tumblr.com) and [my twitter](https://twitter.com/auds_writing)


	12. Entombed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben, Finn, and Poe are trapped...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for detailed depiction of panic attacks and depression.

“Kriff!” Ben pounded his fists against the rock, tearing the skin on his knuckles. He let out a series of expletives, digging at the rock with his fingertips. “Damnit!” Ben pushed away from the rock, closing his eyes and reaching out with his right hand. He tried to concentrate, past the boiling in his stomach and the anger sparking through his body, but it was useless. He opened his eyes to see that the rock hadn’t moved. Balling his hands into fists, Ben let out one more shout, then whipped around to the dark figures he knew to be Finn and Poe.

“Light! Does anyone have a light? Did they take all our lights?” The words spilled out of Ben’s mouth, almost incomprehensible. He gestured frantically in their general direction, and Finn and Poe unfroze, shuffling through their packs for a light. Poe tossed Ben a lightstick emitting a soft white glow. It’d have to be good enough. Ben hovered the lightstick over the rocks, trying to find a crease or line, anything that signified a way to dig out. But there was none. Ben yelled, throwing the stick at the wall but it only bounced off, a few small cracks appearing on the surface. Ben’s anger flared. It wasn’t good enough; it needed to _ break. _ He stomped over to the lightstick, barely able to hear over the roaring in his ears. He picked up the stick, pausing as he prepared to throw it again, then stopped. He couldn’t do this, couldn’t spiral again. He needed to _ calm down_.

Grunting in frustration, Ben’s hands shook as he gently placed the lightstick on the floor. He rushed to the corner of the cave, away from the decomposing bodies and the eyes of his compatriots. He closed his eyes, concentrating on the feel of the rock, rough and gritty against his fingertips and the sensations of his aching legs and the pounding in his head, the way every noise bounced off the walls and the dusty, dry smell of the air around him. As he traced patterns on the wall, he breathed in and out, trying to keep it even and steady. A tear slipped down his cheek, splashing onto the dirt beneath him. 

Ben slowly started to regain control of himself again. His breaths were smooth and even, instead of stuttery and hesitant. The uncomfortable warmth was melting away, and he no longer felt like punching the wall. Only then did Ben notice the prickling pain in his knuckles, and he hissed when he touched them. _ Blast. _

Now that Ben was aware of himself once again, shame flooded through him. He had just broken down in front of Finn and Poe. He had shown them weakness; he barely knew them, yet he had been made vulnerable before them. Ben got up from the floor, then turned to face Finn and Poe, rocking on the balls of his feet, stomach clenching.

In the dim glow of the lightstick, Ben could see Finn’s wide eyes and Poe’s mouth pressed into a hard line. Both of Poe’s hands were balled into fists, and his feet were positioned to attack. Finn was reaching for his blaster holster, even though it was empty. A sickening, twisting feeling materialised in Ben’s gut. _ He caused this. _ How would Ben ever be able to convince the galaxy of his change of heart if he couldn’t even convince Rey’s _ friends? _

“We’re stuck,” Ben said, his voice hoarse and cracked. Poe flexed his fingers, taking a more easygoing stance. Finn’s hand retreated from his holster, and he sighed. Ben took a few steps forward, grabbing the lightstick and raised it high. The bodies at the end of the cave came into view, and a shiver raced down Ben’s spine. He lowered the light, so it only shone on the three men. 

“I don’t think we can dig through, anyways,” Poe said, forcing a pained smile. Ben shrugged, his energy drained away. They all stared at each other in silence, none daring to say what they were thinking. _ They were going to die here. _

“Who was that?” Finn asked, his voice shaky but still strong. Ben looked back towards the cave entrance, gathering his courage.

“They almost killed me a few weeks ago,” Ben said. He lowered his eyes to the floor as he continued, “I don’t know how, but they got a prototype of my uniform from the First Order. They know about my early years. They know _ everything. _ And their weapons… at least pre-Empire, but modified. I thought they were all destroyed, or at least in a museum.” 

“Did they do that?” Finn asked, gesturing behind him, but not daring to look at the still-warm bodies again. Ben shrugged noncommittally. It certainly didn’t seem like much of a stretch.

“We can’t just sit here!” Poe said, his eyes alight with determination. “We can’t wait to die. Maybe one of the bodies has a comm or something. Can you, I don’t know, use the Force to help us out? Rey did that, once.” Poe took a deep breath before grabbing the lightstick and shining it over the bodies. Ben’s hands shook as he took in the petrified looks, the empty eyes, the oozing blood. 

“No, I can’t.” It was a lie. Ben _ could _ lift rocks in the Force. But, for some inexplicable reason, the Force wasn’t answering him. He was reaching out to it, but there was nothing there, and he was blinded. Something was _ blocking _ his connection to the Force. Ben’s stomach twisted into another knot as he watched Poe dig through the corpses. 

“Stop it!” Ben stepped around the bodies and pulled Poe away. He struggled against Ben’s grip, feet flailing as Ben dragged him toward the middle of the cave. In the corner of Ben’s eye he caught the unreadable expression on Finn’s face.

“What the hell are you doing, Ben? There could be a way out of here!” Poe shook Ben off of him, huffing as he glared at Ben. 

“There’s nothing there, Dameron,” Ben said, his voice low. A strange sensation settled over him, as though he were watching himself speak, watching his muscles tense below his skin. “If they had a way out, don’t you think they would have used it?”

“Maybe they didn’t have the chance,” Poe countered, the glow from the lightstick painting Poe’s face in a ghostly blue. Ben could still feel the wet blood on his fingertips. This wasn’t a trap. This was a burial ground. 

That knot in his stomach squeezed his insides together, pulling at his organs until he felt like he couldn’t breathe. His hands twitched at his sides, and he was unable to escape the feeling of the corpses’ gaze raking across every inch of his exposed skin.

Unbeknownst to Ben, the cave began to shake.

Finn glanced up at the ceiling, stepping forward to say something. But he was cut off by Poe’s desperate voice.

“We have to get out of here,” Poe said, his hand gripping Ben’s shoulder. Ben lowered his eyes, strangely still.

“I tortured you,” Ben whispered, and Poe dropped his hand. The knot tugged at him, the tendrils of the dark hole in his stomach climbing up his chest and down his legs. It sliced his veins and cut his muscles and he’s bleeding, thick liquid spilling into the caverns of his chest. His heart was hammering, but the vines of the knot reached the organ and it dug and scooped out the still-beating heart. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. The knot travelled up his spine and stabbed into his brain like a needle and a deep sinking feeling was filling him up. He wanted to take a scalpel and cut into his chest until he could reach the knot in his stomach. He wanted to grab the knot in his hand and crush it beneath his fingers, he wanted to see it bleed, see the black liquid spill between his skin and drip drip drip onto the floor, he wanted to cut his brain so he felt nothing, so the knot would disappear and melt away and he would still be standing there, his insides bleeding and oozing, and he would feel _ nothing _.

“Ben?” Finn’s voice cut through the silence, but Ben could only hear the roaring violence in his head. He shakily raised a hand, watching the dried blood crust and flake on his fingertip. If he delved into his mind, he could still hear Poe’s scream, could still remember how it felt when his lightsaber cut into Finn’s back, could still see Rey’s anguished eyes as she called him a monster. The blood of dozens was on his hands, and they would stay there for the rest of his life.

The Stormtrooper’s white mask burned in his memory, and he needed to dig at his head until he could reach that mask and pluck it out. _ The Stormtrooper is right. Even the Force knows my misdeeds. _

An aching need for Rey to be at his side overtook him. He needed to hear her voice, needed to feel her weight against him, needed to feel her breath tickling his ear. He wanted to take shelter in her arms, hide away from the world and his own mind in her touch. He wanted her to caress his hair and cup his face and whisper that everything would be alright. He _ needed _ her to be there, to be beside him, to comfort him.

But the Force was cruel and the galaxy was crueller, and he was left writhing in the dark without his sunshine to warm him. Something wet touched his cheek, and when he lifted his stained fingers to his eyes he felt tears. But he could feel nothing in his chest, in his head, in him. He was numb, eyes fixed on his tears mixing with the blood.

“I tortured you,” Ben repeated, his voice raw. “I cut through your mind until you were left screaming, and I broke through your barriers until I could see everything. I know everything about you. There were no secrets between us.” Ben turned to Finn, hands still shaking. “And I cut you into pieces, and I _ enjoyed it. _ You were nothing but an obstacle, a simple soldier facing me. I didn’t care about you. I didn’t care about anything. I—” That’s when his voice broke, and now he’s sobbing and shivering, the Stormtrooper’s haunting mask frozen in his mind. _ How weak I was as a child. How weak I am now. _

Ben’s begging the Force to obey him in his mind, he’s tripping over the words and whimpering and begging _ please show me her, please show me my love, _ and he needed her he needed her he wanted her he needed her because he’s flailing and his mind was as fast as lightspeed and he _ needed to calm down _ but he couldn't because he couldn’t control himself he would always be the puppet of someone else. 

“Please,” Ben whispered. 

His knees crumbled and now he’s on the floor, the ashy dust staining his black boots. Something covered his hand, and when he opened his eyes Poe is there, slipping his glove onto his hand. Finn is beside him, holding the lightstick as he wrapped Ben’s cloak around his shivering body. 

“Why?” Ben asked, unable to fathom why they were still here, why they were touching him as if he was glass. He felt a different sort of warmth, one he had never known before. One that made him want to cry with happiness. 

“Because,” Finn said, voice low and comforting, “we’re your friends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that one was a doozy! Poor Ben... Don't worry, the next chapter will be way more fun!
> 
> Tehanu is on vacation, so this chapter was beta-ed by the amazing EquusGirl! Thank you SO, SO much!! And, of course, thank you to my sister, who is still giving me ideas, and who was very excited for the whole Poe-Finn-Ben interaction this chapter! 
> 
> and THANK YOU, READERS! I cannot put into words how much I appreciate every single one of you! Don't be afraid to leave comments, either! I love hearing what you have to say! 
> 
> [my tumblr](https://auds-writing.tumblr.com/) and [my twitter](https://twitter.com/auds_writing)


	13. Rey and Rose's Excellent Adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Rose find themselves in the Stormtrooper's prison, and Rey remembers a moment between her and Ben from not-quite-so-long ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is smut at the end of this chapter, just so you know.

Rey groaned in frustration as one of the Stormtrooper’s guards walked past them for the third time. Rose hid behind Rey, clutching a metal pin in her hand. Rey watched as the guard turned a corner, then she tapped Rose lightly on the shoulder. The woman got to work, reaching through the bars and picking the lock with the hairpin. Rey peered through the bars, using her eyes and the Force to keep a lookout.

“Almost there,” Rose muttered as she worked, brows furrowed in frustration. Not for the first time, Rey wondered about Ben and the boys. Were they alive? Dead? She couldn’t feel them in the Force, a first for her. Rey had tried to open the bond, but it was as if the door that separated her and Ben simply didn’t exist. Rey was without the bond; she’d had it for so long it was devastating for it to suddenly be _ gone. _

The sound of the lock turning echoed in the small cell, and Rey’s heart started to flutter faster. Rose tied up her hair in a bun again, sliding the hairpiece back into place. Rey reached through the bars and opened the cell, careful not to make any noise. Rey and Rose smiled at each other, squeezing hands before stepping out of the cell.

Rey focused, opening herself to the Force and letting it guide her senses. There were three guards in a room to her left, and a guard above her. Multiple guards in pairs of two patrolled the floor above them. There were also two guards in a place somewhere to Rey’s right. She could sense the Stormtrooper’s signature two floors above her, with another signature that she dimly recognised. Rey dipped out of the Force, turning to Rose and signalling to her. _ Follow me. _

Rey kept her steps light as she moved to the right. Rose followed behind, matching Rey’s speed and carefulness. They reached a staircase; Rey turned to Rose and signalled _ be careful _ before slowly making her way up the stairs. With their dirty grey jumpers and dark hair, Rey and Rose blended into the brick walls. The noise of their footsteps echoed in Rey’s head. She was sure that they were too loud, that at any second Stormtroopers would bind their hands behind them and push them back into the cell. But the Force reassured Rey that nobody was coming for her.

Rey followed her instincts, creeping down the dim hallways until the guards in the Force were right in front of her. Rey held up a hand, and Rose stopped. The two peeked into the hallway and saw a door guarded by two guards. The door was labelled _ weapons _in Basic.

Stepping out of her hiding place, Rey approached the guards with a casual air around her. They looked at each other, then to Rey, aiming their blasters at her. Rey raised her hands, waving them slightly as she fogged their minds with the Force. 

“_You will let me and my friend into the weapons storage room,_” Rey said, keeping her voice even and confident. The guards lowered their weapons, repeating her sentence in a droning voice. Rey signalled to Rose, and the shorter woman ducked into the weapons room. Rey concentrated, ignoring Rose’s gnawing fear and her own panic, weaving the Force through the guards’ heads. They swayed unevenly, following Rey’s invisible tendril in their minds.

Rose came out of the storage room, smiling widely as she tossed Rey’s lightsaber to her. Rey clipped the lightsaber to her belt, then waved her hand in front of the guards again.

“_You will escort us to a ship. You will let us leave the planet, return to your stations, then forget you ever saw us._” The guards echoed her words back to her, then started to walk to the left. Rey looked to Rose, then followed behind the guards.

The guards traversed the base, winding through the hallways in ways that made no sense. But Rey trusted that the guards knew where they were going, even if it seemed they were leading Rey and Rose into a trap.

Finally, the hallway opened up into a hanger. Rey sighed, the tension in her muscles alleviating. She grabbed Rose’s hand, squeezing it tight. Rose squeezed back, not taking her eyes off the guards. There was comfort in the gesture, a reassurance that they were still there, still together. They were led to a nondescript Upsilon-class shuttle, menacingly looming over them. Once again, Rey wondered how the Stormtrooper had gotten all of this equipment. Most of the ships were auctioned off, but the price had been ridiculously inflated. Rey knew of one man who had bought a simple starfighter for millions of credits, then placed it in his own personal museum, full of artefacts from the First Order and the Resistance. Rey had gone there once, curious, and had seen a revolting display of the war that horribly glorified both the First Order and the Resistance. The sections dedicated to her and to Ben made Rey feel nauseous. 

Rey pulled Rose into the ship, jumping into the pilot’s seat as she powered up the shuttle. The engines hummed as they warmed up, and the wings started to expand as the ship began its takeoff sequence. Rey watched the base disappear from sight as the shuttle reached the atmosphere, then as it left the planet. Rey breathed out a sigh, then got to work, scanning the ship and disabling any trackers. Rose jumped out of her seat, organising their equipment and using a handheld device to scan the interior of the ship. Rey had the sinking suspicion that their escape was too easy, but she couldn’t concentrate on that now.

Ben’s presence in the Force was still being blocked. Rey tried to recall if there was a way to block the Force, but she couldn’t think of anything. She cursed her limited knowledge. Rey glanced at the chrono, then cursed aloud and typed in the coordinates for the planet that the signal originated from. Her friends had been trapped in that cave for two days. If they hadn’t already run out of water, they would soon. 

“Buckle in!” Rey said over her shoulder, and Rose abandoned her scanning to strap herself into the co-pilot’s seat. The ship shuddered as it entered lightspeed, then quieted down. Rey leaned back in her seat and glanced at Rose. The two women stared at each other, silent, before smiling widely and gripping each other’s hands, slightly shaking.

“How did you do that?” Rose asked, letting go of Rey temporarily to wave her hands in the air. Rey chuckled.

“It’s called a Jedi mind trick,” Rey answered, and Rose’s eyes widened. “It usually only works on weaker minds. I’ve used it once, on Starkiller Base. Actually, Ben and I have been practising stuff like that.” At the mention of Ben’s name, Rey’s heart throbbed in her chest, and the adrenaline high from the escape started to ebb away. Rose rubbed her thumb on Rey’s hand.

“That’s amazing. Where did you learn it?”

“Books, from Luke. You know you did awesome too. When did you start carrying a lockpick around?” Rey gestured to the pick, currently holding Rose’s bun together. Rose touched it lightly, a faint smile on her face.

“After Finn and I went on our mission to Canto Blight, I thought it was a good idea to have a lockpick. Didn’t want to be stuck somewhere again.” Rey hadn’t been told exactly what happened when she was away on Ahch-To, but she knew the gist of it. Rey relaxed in her seat, stretching her tired limbs as she yawned. Rose took her hands again, rubbing her thumb on the back of Rey’s hand soothingly.

“Hey, I can keep watch if you need to sleep. We shouldn’t go in without our strength. Rest for a bit,” Rose said, her voice taking on a comforting tone. Rey nodded, knowing that Rose was right. Reaching out with the Force, Rey was still met with nothing. _ Where was he? _ _  
_

* * *

_ Rey remembered that night well. _

_ Sometime during their desperate pawing, she had flicked the switch and the light vanished from the room. She remembered her fingers tangled in his soft, thick hair. She remembered the grooves of his tunic, the wall cold beneath her fingers. _

_ “Wait,” Ben breathed, his lips hovering over her neck. She paused, pulling away to stare into his dark eyes. His hands started to shift away from her hips, but she grumbled and pulled them back to her. She needed his touch. _

_ “Are you sure?” he whispered, and warmth bloomed through her. Her hands shook, and she gripped his hair to stop them. A groan escaped his mouth, sending volts through her body. Rey forced herself to stop, to think. It was rare that she indulged in her emotions. She was hesitant to let herself feel something, even if it was with Ben. But as she stood there, it clicked. _

_ “Yes,” she replied. Even without sight, she knew he was smiling. They met halfway, desperation changing into light touches and languid movements. Her hands trailed down his chest, feeling the muscles underneath. Rey gripped Ben’s hand, pulling him away from the wall and towards the bed. _

_ As he laid down on the sheets, she pulled off her top, leaving her chest wrap and her pants. Ben paused, his rapid breathing echoing through the bond. Rey didn’t hesitate, swinging her leg over his and straddling his thighs. _

_ He gasped, eyes wide as she trailed her hands up his clothed chest, reaching for the hook that pulled his tunic together. She deftly undid his tunic, pushing it off of his chest. He shoved the tunic off, then pulled his undershirt off, leaving his heaving chest bare in front of her. She stopped, admiring him glistening in the darkness, before raking her fingernails down his chest in angry red lines. Ben inhaled like he couldn’t breathe, and his entire body shivered. A warmth spread through Rey, and she smiled. _

_ Tangling her hands in his hair once again, Rey’s lips met Ben’s, more passionate than the slow kissing of before. A tight sensation twinged in Rey, and the more Ben touched her the more she wanted him to never stop. His fingers traced the muscles in her back as he slowly undid her chestwrap, leaving her exposed to him. _

_ She had seen enough holos to know what to do, but they never mentioned how it felt. And if they did, it was greatly exaggerated, in a way that was almost comical. This wasn’t comical. This was everything she imagined, and more. She never thought she would feel this way with another person. But with every sigh of Ben’s breath against her, with every shock of his lips against hers, Rey fell deeper. _

_ Ben’s lips trailed down her neck, peppering kisses until he reached her breasts. Rey glanced down to see Ben’s blushing cheeks as he snaked a hand up Rey’s stomach. He looked up at her, pupils wide and lips swollen red, a hint of a smile gracing his face, as his fingers flicked at her nipples. Rey shivered, almost overwhelmed at the sensation. She never imagined it would feel like that. Ben grinned wider, his eyes dancing in the darkness, and he flicked her nipple again. Rey arched, shivering as Ben continued to play with her breasts. She dug her fingers into his hair, pulling his beautiful lips away from her so she could cover them with her own. He tasted like skin and sweat and Rey needed him closer. She was done with his playful teasing. It was time to take control. _

_ Rey slid her hand into Ben’s pants as she pushed him onto the sheets. He squirmed, almost dancing. There was lust and need and want in his eyes and she wanted to drown in them. She quickly undid his hooks, and she lifted her hips as he pulled his pants and underwear down. Rey almost froze at the sight of him bare before her, but then his hands started to shake and he glanced into her eyes and she realised that he was as nervous as she was. _

_ Rey closed her eyes, lifted her hips again and shimmied out of her underwear. She leaned her forehead against Ben’s, gripping his cock in her hand as she lined herself up. Ben gripped Rey’s hips as he hissed. She carefully sunk down, and Ben’s grip tightened. Rey fisted the sheets as she slowly started a rhythm, rocking up and down. The sight of Ben, flustered and panting, made Rey want to rock until he fell apart in her arms. She started to move faster, enjoying the sight of Ben trying to hold on. His cock jerked as it hit a spot inside Rey, sending a flood of heat and pleasure through her. She rose slightly, then plunged back onto Ben, and she hit the spot again with him. Her movements became frantic, her fingers abandoning the sheets to rub her clit eagerly. _

_ Rey knew she was close. She could feel it in the tightness of her core, in her unstable breathing. When she opened her eyes, she saw Ben, sweat dotting his forehead as he gripped her sides. He must’ve been closer than she was. Rey stopped the rocking, trying to submerge herself in the feeling before she fell over the edge. Ben whimpered, and the sound shot straight to her core. Rey pulled him closer, and he buried his face in her shoulder, kissing it desperately, almost begging. She raked her fingernails down his back, then rocked, shoving her hips against his. _

_ They came apart together, shivering and sweating and breathing against each other. Rey gripped Ben tight as her orgasm washed through her. She clung onto every last sensation, until she finally collapsed against him, no longer having the strength to hold herself up. Gingerly, Rey lifted herself off of Ben, then laid next to him, resting her head against him. _

_ He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her, and whispering words she couldn’t understand into her neck. She breathed in deeply, wanting to stay wrapped in his arms forever. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, that title is a reference to Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. I just love Rey and Rose's friendship, and I hope that JJ explores the potential in TROS. And I hope that smut was up to your standards! I'm still pretty new at smut, so I'm always hesitant to write it, but the words flow and then BAM! Still pretty shy about the language though.
> 
> Tehanu was on vacation, so I must again thank EquusGirl for her beta-ing skills. And I thank my sister, who always reminds me that the friendships between the characters are just as important as the romance. Though we all know I can't resist that romance ;).
> 
> and THANK YOU, READERS! Thirteen chapters into this fic and I have no sign of stopping, and it's thanks to all of you! I honestly can't believe I'm still writing this. It started as a little plot bunny, and I was itching to write a new longfic (even though I am horrid at keeping a schedule for a longfic). And with TROS upon us, I know that this will probably diverge from canon soon enough. Yet, I am so excited to show you all this journey. I'm sure you have so many questions. Who is the Stormtrooper? How do they know Ben so well? How will Rey and Ben's romantic journey continue from here? All of those will be answered in time. Remember, those kudos and comments are so inspiring! I personally am a lurker on this site, and I know how anxious one can feel when writing a comment. But I love to see them, and I love responding to them! So please, don't hesitate to comment! I would be oh-so thankful if you did! And don't be afraid to shoot me a message on my social media. I'd love to make mutuals! Thank you, for reading, and reading this VERY long endnotes. 
> 
> sidenote, it seems that I update better on Tuesdays, so this fic will now OFFICIALLY be updating on Tuesdays. Yay!
> 
> [my tumblr](https://auds-writing.tumblr.com/) and [my twitter](https://twitter.com/auds_writing)


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